Here. Here! You’re on television, aren’t you?
Well, what about those juniper bushes over there?
Not much fun in Stalingrad, no.
Yes, tonight Probe Around takes a look at crime. Is it true that the police are using dachshunds to combat the crime wave? And can the head of the Vice Squad turn himself into an albatross whenever he wants to? Just what are the police up to?
Oh, oh, ‘courtesan’, oh aren’t we grand. Harlot’s not good enough for us eh? Paramour, concubine, fille de joie. That’s what we are not. Well listen to me my fine fellow, you are a bit of tail, that’s what you are.
But I don’t want any of that. I’d rather… I’d rather… just… sing!
I think I’ll just go for a walk.
I say, those are sheep aren’t they?
Well, you’ve… slept… with a lady.
What’s wrong with her? She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge… tracts of land…
Here; it’s the Ark Royal, Doris. Have you got their rock buns ready?
Good! good? What do you know about it? What do you know about getting up at five o’clock in t’morning to fly to Paris… back at the Old Vic for drinks at twelve, sweating the day through press interviews, television interviews and getting back here at ten to wrestle with the problem of a homosexual nymphomaniac drug-addict involved in the ritual murder of a well known Scottish footballer. That’s a full working day, lad, and don’t you forget it!
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
My father - Chief Running Stag - leader of mighty Redfoot tribe - him heap keen on Michael Denison and Dulcie Gray.
Know what I mean, nudge nudge, wink wink.
Burma!
If I were not in the CID
Something else I’d like to be
If I were not in the CID
A window cleaner, me!
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
And a rub-a-dub all day long
With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub
I’d sing this merry song!
Hello, the, er, show so far…well it all started with the organist losing all his clothes as he sat down at the organ, and after this had happened and we had seen the titles of the show, we saw Biggles dictating a letter to his secretary, who thought he was Spanish, and whom he referred to as a harlot and a woman of the night, although she preferred to be called a courtesan. Then we saw some people trying to climb a road in Uxbridge. And then there were some cartoons and then some lifeboatmen came into a woman’s sitting room and after a bit the woman went out to buy some cakes on a lifeboat and then a naval officer jumped into the sea. Then we saw a man telling us about storage jars from Bolivia, then there were some more cartoons and a man told us about what happened on the show so far and a great hammer came down and hit him on the head.
David Hemmings appeared coutesy of the National Foresty Council.
Boxing Tonight comes from the Empire Pool, Wembley, and features the main heavyweight bout between Jack Bodell, British and Empire Heavyweight Champion, and Sir Kenneth Clark. It’s the first time these two have met so there should be some real action tonight.