And now, Radio Four will explode.
My goodness me, I am in a bad temper today all right, two, three, damn, damn, two, three, I am vexed and ratty. Two, three, and hopping mad.
I remember Doug was very keen on boxing, but when he learned to walk, he took up putting the boot in the groin.
Razor, razor, cut, cut, blood, spurt, artery, murder…
It’s just a flesh wound.
Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.
Good morning. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, but I’m afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work.
Ni!
We at “Q” division are more than a match for you, “Two Sheds.” Get your own arts program, you fairy!
At the age of fifteen Doug and Dinsdale started attending the Ernest Pythagoras Primary School in Clerkenwell. When the Piranhas left school they were called up but were found by an Army Board to be too unstable even for National Service. Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, they began to operate what they called ‘The Operation’… They would select a victim and then threaten to beat him up if he paid the so-called protection money. Four months later they started another operation which they called ‘The Other Operation’. In this racket they selected another victim and threatened not to beat him up if he didn’t pay them. One month later they hit upon ‘The Other Other Operation’. In this the victim was threatened that if he didn’t pay them, they would beat him up. This, for the Piranha brothers, was the turning point.
Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, how very nice.
Splunge!
‘Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying’.
The BBC wishes to deny rumors that it is going into liquidation. Mrs Kelly, who owns the flat where they live, has said that they can stay on till the end of the month. And we’ve just heard that Huw Weldon’s watch has been accepted by the London Electricity Board and transmissions for this evening can be continued as planned.
That’s all from me so… goodnight.
I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.
You’re a loony.
I want you all to call me… Loretta.
Well, there’s egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or Lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
I’m not dead!
He must have died while carving it.