Your dung. Three hundredweight of heavy droppings. Where do you want it?
Yes, his face became spotty,
And his voice dropped down low
And things started to grow
On young Brian and show
He was certainly no–
No girl named ‘Brian,’
Not a girl named ‘Brian.’
And he started to shave
And have one off the wrist
And want to see girls
And go out and get pissed,
A man called ‘Brian’–
This man called ‘Brian’–
The man they called ‘Brian’–
This man called ‘Brian’!
Are you embarrassed easily? I am. But it’s nothing to worry about. It’s all part of growing up and being British. This course is designed to eliminate embarrassment.
Simon and Vivian at the front coming to the Matchbox Jump… three layers of matchboxes to clear… and Simon’s over and Vivian’s over beautifully, oh and the jump of a lifetime - if only his father could understand. Here’s Nigel… and now Gervaise is over he’s, er, Nigel is over, and it’s Gervaise, Gervaise is going to jump it, is it, no, he’s jumped the wrong way, there he goes, Nigel’s over, beautifully. Now it’s only Oliver. Oliver… and Gervaise… oh, bad luck. And now it’s Kicking the Beggar.
No, it’s in the very small print, you see, sir, so as not to affect the sales.
Harrison, sir.
Can I call you “sugar plum”?
I will marry you sir, but please make up your mind. Please don’t trifle with my affections.
I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough-wiper!
He doesn’t do anything, he just sits there.
All I can give you is a name, number and a why did the chicken cross the road.
I want to go! I want to burn. I want to feel my bones burst into a billion pieces!
I want to trace across the firmament, a glowing ball of flame, a testament to our godliness and piety!
I’ll have a slice without so much rat in it.
Oh, frabjous day!
Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile
I’ve had balanital chancroids
For quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June
I ache for you, my darling,
And I hope you’ll get well soon
My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sore,
Your monilial infection
How I miss you more and more
Your dobies itch my scrum-pox
Ah, lovely gonorrhea
At least we both were lying
When we said that we were clear
My clapped-out genitalia
Is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee
I'm dying from your love, my love,
I'm your spirochetal clown
I've left my body to science,
But I'm afraid they've turned it down
Gonococcal urethritis
Streptococcal balanitis
Meningomyelitis
Diplococcal catholitis
Epidydimitis
Interstitial keratitis
Syphilitic coronitis
And anterior ureitis.Blimey, whatever did I give the wife?
Is she a goer, eh? Eh?
Pretend that drumstick is a mace. Oh, come on!
I don’t care how fucking runny it is.
He’s given me a very good idea.