I have a very great friend in Rome named Biggus Dickus.
Look here old fellow, I know when a chap’s cut my hair and when he hasn’t. So will you please stop fooling around and get on with it.
Wait for it…
Pope: I never saw a kangaroo.
Michelangelo: Uh, he’s right at the back. No sweat, I’ll make him into a disciple. All right?
No, it’s Michael.
Where it says: ‘next of kin’ shall I put ‘mother’?
I wish I’d been a girlie, just like my dear pappa!
Well, never mind. I’ll just take the Lord Lieutenant in Nylons, then, and these two copies of Piggie Parade. Thank you.
Never mind, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you Ken Buddha and his inflatable knees.
I know you’re down there.
Look, we are not Tudor persons. We are the police.
Stop that! It’s silly!
Is your name not Bruce, then?
Mind if we call you ‘Bruce’ to keep it clear?
My name is Equator, Mr Equator Equator. Like round the middle of the Earth, only with an L. This is my wife Audrey, she smells a bit but she has a heart of gold.
Now the approach to Kilimanjaro is quite simply over the foothills, and then we go on after that to … ohh… to set a base camp, somewhere in the region of the bottom of the glacier when…
Tonight we’re going to take a hard tough abrasive look at camel spotting.
About one - call it none.
Well, we’re-- we’re supposed to haggle.
Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can’t afford to bloody feed.