There’s no such thing as a fish license.
Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest… with… a herring!
Denied the opportunity to use their talents in the service of their country, [the Piranha brothers] began to operate what they called ‘The Operation’. They would select a victim and then threaten to beat him up if he paid the so-called protection money. Four months later they started another operation which the called ‘The Other Operation’. In this racket they selected another victim and threatened not to beat him up if he didn’t pay them. One month later they hit upon ‘The Other Other Operation’. In this the victim was threatened that if he didn’t pay them, they would beat him up.
This, for the Piranha brothers, was the turning point.
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Yeah, you try that with a pineapple down your windpipe.
Are there any women here?
We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life – bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear…
She’s got huuuge… tracts of land!
Oh yes, I mean their use of color with fabrics is fantastic. I saw their pattern book the other day - beautiful, beautiful. Savage tans, great slabs of black set against aggressive orange. It really makes you want to shout out, this is good! This is real!
…nice though the abattoir is.
But I am a chartered accountant.
You promised you wouldn’t do fruit this week.
Our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive boon.
S. Frog, sir.
If we took the bones out, it wouldn’t be crunchy, would it?
Well, I would destroy the lower classes, first with bombs and rockets destroying their homes and then when they run screaming into the streets, mowing them down with submachine guns. I know these views aren’t popular, but I have never courted popularity.
Dear Sir, I object strongly to the obvious athletic turn this show has now taken. Why can’t we hear more about the human body? There is nothing embarrassing or nasty about the human body except for the intestines and bits of the bottom.
Dear Sir, I wish to complain in the strongest possible terms about the song which you have just broadcast about the lumberjack who wears women’s clothes. Many of my best friends are lumberjacks, and only a few of them are transvestites. Yours faithfully, Brigadier Sir Charles Arthur Strong (Mrs.) P.S. I have never kissed the editor of the Radio Times.
If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue. Now this is extremely nasty… but we can’t prosecute you for that.
This house is surrounded. I must ask that no one leave the room. I’m Chief Superintendent Lookout.