Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)

I will take you away from all this Mrs S.C.U.M.

It’s not a palindrome. Bolton spelt backwards is “Notlob.”

Don’t call me señor! I’m not a Spanish person. You must call me Mr Biggles, or Group Captain Biggles or Mary Biggles if I’m dressed as my wife, but never señor.

I’ve had more gala lunches than you’ve had hot dinners, my lad, and don’t you forget it!

Mr N, you have made my heart sing…Late in life’s pageant it may be … but you have made roses bloom anew for me!

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

Er…next to the sideboard?

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

Yes, m’lud. Twenty-three-year-old Abigail hails from down under, where they’re upside down about her. Those Aussies certainly know a thing or two when it comes to beach belles. Bet some life-saver wouldn’t mind giving her the kiss of life. So watch out for sharks, Abigail!

And now for something completely different.

And now for something completely different.

He has, however, chosen a rather obvious piece of cover.

:: BOOM ::

Funny, you look much shorter than that to me. Are you slumped forward in your chair at all?

Good evening and welcome, ladies and gentlemen. At this time we’d like to up the tempo a little, change the mood. We’ve got a number requested by Pip, Pauline, Nigel, Tarquin, and old Spotty - Tarquin’s mother - a little number specially written for the pubescence of ex-King Zog of Albania, and it’s entitled “Art Gallery.” Hope you like it.

So Miss Johnson returned to her typing and dreamed her little dreamy dreams, unaware as she was of the cruel trick fate had in store for her. For Miss Johnson was about to fall victim of the dreaded international Chinese Communist Conspiracy. Yes, these fanatical thieves under the leadership of the so-called Mao Tse-tung had caught Miss Johnson off guard for one brief but fatal moment and destroyed her. Just as they are ready to do anytime free men anywhere waver in their defense of democracy.

Has anyone noticed that building there before?

Rule Four: Now this term, I don’t want to catch anybody not drinking.

Lucky Mr Johnson pointed that out, eh? You wouldn’t have had much fun in Stalingrad, would you…(they don’t see the joke) I said, you wouldn’t have had much fun in Stalingrad, would you, ha, ha, ha?

There is no Rule Six.

Well I object to all this sex on the television. I mean I keep falling off.

“Old Nick the sea captain was a rough, tough, jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea, and he loved to hang out down by the pier, where the men dressed as ladies…”

No. But what we can do, and this is between you and me, I shouldn’t really be telling you this, we’ll turn your gas on, make a hole in your pipe, you ring Hounslow emergency, they’ll be around here in a couple of days.