nd the Lord spake, saying, ‘First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.’
No, no, sir, it’s all right - we don’t morally censor you, we just want the money.
Now I’m really cheesed off. I mean it’s not your high-brow bleeding plays that pull in the viewers, you know.
Perhaps he was dictating.
Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Aye, and what were all that dancing through Ray Illingworth’s innings? Forty-seven not out and the bird comes up and feed him some grapes!
Your Highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark.
Don’t call me Señor! I’m not a Spanish person. You must call me Mr Biggles, or Group Captain Biggles, or Mary Biggles if I’m dressed as my wife, but never Señor.
It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
I don’t know. Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that’s all - I didn’t expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition.
No, no, he’s not dead, he’s… he’s restin’! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, innit, eh? Beautiful plumage!
There shall, in that time, be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things wi-- with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment. At this time, a friend shall lose his friend’s hammer and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o’clock. Yea, it is written in the book of Cyril that, in that time, shall the third one…
Oooo, I’ve had a bitch of a morning, luv!
Yes, yes… I wondered if you have any part-time vacancies on your books.
Every sperm is sacred.
Not working fast enough? Well, there’s an answer for that.
Oh shit, it’s Mr. Creosote!
It’s just that I get so sick of always having to be like the Cheap-Laughs.
Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!!!
He goes down to the public library, he sees a few signs up, comes home all full of good intentions.