Today saw the appointment of a new head of Allied Bomber Command - Air Chief Marshal Sir Vincent ‘Kill the Japs’ Forster. He’s in our Birmingham studio.
But first, a bit of fun.
Oh, it’s the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that’s nice, innit? I’m glad they’re getting something because they had a hell of a time.
He said it again!
The BBC would like to apologize to the police about the character of Police Constable Pan-Am. He was not meant to represent the average police officer. Similarly, the reference to Buzz Aldrin, the astronaut, was the product of a disordered mind and should not be construed as having any other significance.
Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA.
I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you cheer up.
Englishmen, you’re all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls.
There it lay, the prize they sought - the richest jewel in the crown of the IMF - a financial district swollen with multi-nationals, conglomerates and fat, bloated merchant banks.
I’m afraid I have no choice but to sell you all off for medical experiments.
La Marche Futile?
There’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded mosquito.
I am not a racialist, but, und this is a big but, we in the National Bocialist Party believe das Überleben muss gestammen sein mit der schneaky Armstrong-Jones. Historische Taunton ist Volkermeinig von Meinhead.
Reginald Maudling? Right, we’ll give you that.
Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great…
Under the terms of the Roman occupancy, we’re entitled to be crucified in a purely Jewish area.
Twenty-three-year-old Abigail hails from down under, where they’re upside down about her. Those Aussies certainly know a thing or two when it comes to beach belles. Bet some life-saver wouldn’t mind giving her the kiss of life. So watch out for sharks, Abigail!
Pork luncheon meat.
Now you have won tonight’s star prize!! Do you still want the blow on the head?
Ratbag: Oh, yes please, Michael.
Quizmaster: I’m offering you a poke in the eye…
Ratbag: No no.
Quizmaster: All right then, a punch in the throat.
Ratbag: No.
Quizmaster: My very last offer Mrs Scum – a knee in the temple and a dagger up the clitoris! (Audience cries of “Take the Money!” etc)
Ratbag: That’s very tempting, I’ve never had one up there before
Hold it. Look, loves … can anyone not involved in this scene, please leave the set. Now! Come on please. Anyone not concerned in this scene, the canteen’s open upstairs.Now come on please.Sorry loves. Sorry. We’ll have to take it again, from the top. All fight. OK… Cue!