Oh, it was extremely interesting, very, very - quite… it was dull; dull, dull, dull, oh God it was dull. Sitting in the Waterloo waiting room. Course once you’ve seen one Yeti you’ve seen them all.
How much do you hate the Romans?
Yes, yes, of course we are, yes, absolutely, you’re absolutely right! That’s positive thinking for you. You wouldn’t have said a thing like that, would you? You five-foot-ten weed. Sir Robert Eversley, who’s very interesting, what have you discovered in the excavations at El Ara?
A lot!
No, no, sweet Concorde! Stay here! I will send help as soon as I have accomplished a daring and heroic rescue in my own particular… Idiom!
Well at the moment, Ludovic, you’re crouching down inside a filing cabinet.
Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see–
It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
Your cat is suffering from what we Vets haven’t found a word for.
I like Chinese.
If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue. Now this is extremely nasty… but we can’t prosecute you for that.
When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, ‘Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit’. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign ‘the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete’s head. From the House of Conquistador’.
Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and lovingly frosted with glucose.
Is this strictly releveant? Quizzed learned lovely, Justice Maltravers. Seventy-eight-year-old Justice hails from Esther, and he’s been making a big name for himself at the recent Assizes at Exeter.
[outraged] Mock frog!?! We use no artificial additives or preservatives of any kind!
You can keep your fastidious continental bidets Mrs Foreigner - Mrs Britain knows how to keep her feet clean … but she’ll baffle like bingo boys when it comes to keeping the television screen clean…
I could not keep away from you. I must have you all the time.
The same. Only more violent. Right, Slit Eyes Yakomoto, I’m arresting you for the impersonation of Signor Luchino Visconti, famous Italian director of such movie classics as ‘Ossessione’ 1942, ‘La Tetra Trema’ 1948, and ‘Bellissima’ 1951 - a satisfying ironic slice-of-life drama. 1957 brought to the silver screen his ‘I Bianche Notre’ adapted by Dostoyevsky, a mannered and romantic melancholy of snow and mist and moonlit encounters on canal bridges. ‘Boccaccio 70’ followed five years later and the following year saw ‘The Leopard’! So impressed was I with this motion picture treatment of the Risorgimento that I went along to Somerset House and changed me own name to Leopard, preferring it to me original handle, ‘Panther’ (Aargh). I digress. 1969 saw ‘The Damned’, a Götterdämmerung epic of political and industrial shennanigans in good old Nazi Germany, starring Helmut Berger as a stinking transvestite what should have his face sawn off, the curvaceous Charlotte Rampling as a bit of tail, and the impeccable Dirk Bogarde as Von Essen. The association of the latter with Signor Visconti fructified with Dirk’s magnificent portrayal of the elderly poof what expires in Venice. And so, Yakomoto… blimey, he gone! Never mind. I’ll have you instead.
This thread might be of interest: https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=862309
If feel happy, I feel happy.