Fine. I’m the head waiter. This is a vegetarian restaurant only: we serve no animal flesh of any kind. We’re not only proud of that, we’re smug about it. So if you were to come in here asking me to rip open a small defenseless chicken, so you could chew its skin and eat its intestines, then I’m afraid I’d have to ask you to leave.
Number seven. Two inches to the right of a very naughty bit indeed.
Blimey! What’d I give the wife?
O Lord, we beseech thee, have mercy on our faculty, Amen!
It’s certainly uncontaminated by cheese.
As he’s going to be teaching politics, I’ve told him he’s welcome to teach any of the great socialist thinkers, provided he makes it clear that they were wrong.
Look! I must warn you that anything you may say will be ignored and furthermore, given half a chance I’ll put my fist through your teeth. F’tang. F’tang
That’s a strange expression, Bruce.
Ooooh he’s got a tummy tum tum
Ooooh he’s got a tummy tum tum
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle- dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz- ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein- nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut- gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm
What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Gimme the 'oop!
Have we started again?
I promise I won’t try to kill you.
You cwowd of cwacking-up cweeps. Theize him! Blow your noses and theize him! Oh, my bum.
No no, Roman!
Stand and deliver!
She’s bloody dying and all you bring us is lupins. All we’ve eaten mate for the last four bleeding weeks is lupin soup, roast lupin, steamed lupin, braised lupin in lupin sauce, lupin in the basket with sauted lupins, lupin meringue pie, lupin sorbet… we sit on lupins, we sleep in lupins, we feed the cat on lupins, we burn lupins, we even wear the bloody things!
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu–
I think it looks rather smart.