Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)

I waggled my wig at 'im.

Not guilcup.

Confess! Confess! Confess!

It’s a fair cop.

Hah! Call this a court?

Run away!!!

So successful has been the training of the Kamikaze Regiment that the numbers have dwindled from 30,000 to just over a dozen in three weeks. What makes these young Scotsmen so keen to kill themselves?

Nothing to do with me. I’m not in this show. This is show five - I’m not in until show eight.

Oh, good morning! Have you come to arrange a holiday or would you like a blowjob?

No, it’s much too perilous.

Oh, a gahp. A gahp in one’s hhhhhoop. Pardon me, but I’m off to play the grand piano.

I have to push the pram a lot.

Shhhh.

Spammity Spam!

Don’t you shout at me, madam, don’t come that tone. Now then, I must ask you to accompany me down to the dairy and do some aptitude tests.

I use two kinds of aftershave lotion - Frankincense, Myrrh - three kinds of aftershave lotion, Frankincense, Myrrh, Sandalwood - four kinds of aftershave lotion. Frankincense, …

Bring in the comfy chair!

Dead Indian.

Ze stupid English. Zey are prisoners and all they do is the sport.

I fart in your general direction.