Monty Python non sequitur thread (Part 1)

He’s not the Messiah; he’s just a naughty boy.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?

Are you a virgin?

I’m averting my gaze, Lord.

I’m turning you all out! I’m not having my house filled with filthy perverts. Now look, I’m giving you just half a minute then I’m going to call the police, so get out!

It’s like those miserable Psalms–they’re so depressing. Now knock it off!

How shall we “fuck off”, Oh Lord?

Pedestrians are still being threatened by vicious gangs of keep-left signs.

I’m not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!

And after the spanking… the Oral Sex!!

He has, however, chosen a rather obvious piece of cover.

A spanking! A spanking!

…to me it’s like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus.

Ooo, I’ve had a bitch of a morning, luv!

Slower banter, sir?

So I thought to myself, “A little fermented curd will do the trick.”

There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.

I’m sorry, we only want questions about farming.

And now for the first time ever on record we proudly present the 1972 Eclipse of the sun!

Message for you, sir!