Hello, last week on ‘Party Hints’ I showed you how to make a small plate of goulash go round twenty-six people, how to get the best out of your canapés, and how to unblock your loo. This week I’m going to tell you what to do if there is an armed communist uprising near your home when you’re having a party.
The pond! Throw her into the pond!
A newt?!?
Are you referring to me?
Right, Audrey. When did you first start thinking you were a cow?
You bloody fool, Morgan, that’s the metope. The abacus is between the architrave and the aechinus in the capital.
To be blunt, your cat is in a rut. It’s the old stockbroker syndrome, the suburban fin de sičcle ennui, angst, weltschmertz, call it what you will.
No, no, well, look, you can ask Mr. Maudling but I’m sure he’ll never agree. Not for fifty shillings… no… no. Bye-bye, Gordon. Bye-bye. Oh, dear. Bye-bye!
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
Right, well, up on the table, arms out, fingers together, knees bent…
French persons! (Jeering) Today the blood of many a valiant knight shall be avenged.
But if you can find a piano stool you can appear later on in the show on film.
Oh I’m awfully sorry, my suit seems to keep catching fire.
Say no more!
Quite agree. Quite agree. Silly. Silly…silly. Right get on with it. Get on with it.
Take this to Marketing, would you?
What a plucky fighter this Champ is. He’s fighting as well as I’ve ever seen him. Must be losing blood at a rate of a pint a second now. It’s everywhere. Certainly those who paid one and a half million dollars for those ringside seats are really getting their money’s worth. They’re covered in it. And his head’s off!
That gives you just some idea of what’s going on out there. Today saw the long-awaited publication of the Portman Committee’s Report on Industrial Reorganization…
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
I came here to find a new job, a new life, a new meaning to my existence.