Well, last week we showed you how to become a gynaecologist.
I’m not taking me trousers down on television. What do you think I am?
Tonight we will discuss the place of the nude in my bed — in the history of my bed; ART! In the history of art. Ahem. The nude in the history of tart — CALL GIRL! Sorry, I’ll start again. Ahem. Bum — oh, what a giveaway! The nude in the history of bum.
The nominations for the best Foreign Film Director are: Monsieur Richad Attenborough, Ricardo de Attenbergie, Rik Artenborough, Ri Char Dat En Bollo, and Pier Paolo Pasolini.
Darling… there’s a man here with our Book of the Month Club dung.
Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, malodorous, pervert!!!
You empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
No. 1. The Larch.
Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek this grail. That is your purpose, Arthur: the quest for the Holy Grail.
Do you want to come upstairs… or have you come to arrange a holiday?
One more peep out of you and I’ll do you for heresy.
Ah, no thank you. We’re not Church people, thank you.
It’s the Bishop!
All I said to my wife was: “That piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!”
I wish I had said that.
And now for something completely the same.
You’re fired!
I’m French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you Thilly Kingh?
What? A pineapple?
Oh, cut your own head off!