We’ve just heard that an explosion in the kitchens of the House of Lords has resulted in the breakage of seventeen storage jars. Police ruled out foul play.
“Popped by”? Swarmed by’s more like it. There’s a multitude out there!
Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non-existence of God, they have decided to fight for it. The existence, or non-existence, to be determined by two falls, two submissions, or a knockout. All right boys, let’s get to it.
Do you know that in our laboratories we have produced a cheese sandwich that can withstand an impact of 4,000 lbs per square inch?
Hello. Hello people, and welcome to ‘It’s a Tree’.
I bling a dispatch flom Prymouth.
Wait a tic, wait a tic. I won’t ruin your sketch for a pound.
This is a particularly auspicious occasion for us this evening, as we have been told that Her Majesty the Queen will be watching part of this show tonight.
Arthur Huntingdon, who Helen Graham married as a young girl, and whose shameless conduct eventually drove her back to her brother Lawrence, in Anne Bronte’s ‘The Tenant of Wildfell Hall’ describes why it’s unique.
No. 1. The Larch.
Mr. Gabriello. People are saying that the kid ought to be buried. His head’s come off in the last six fights.
You don’t mind living in a figment of another man’s imagination?
Q. Have you got Mr Notlob’s permission to be in there?
A. We’re squatters, baby.
Yes, once again American defence proves its effectiveness against international communism. Using this diagram of a tooth to represent any small country, we can see how international communism works by eroding away form the inside (diagram of tooth rotting from inside and collapsing) When one country or tooth falls victim to international communism, its neighbours soon follow. (the remaining teeth fall sideways into the gap) In dentistry, this is known as Domino Theory. but with american defence the decay is stopped before it starts and that’s why nine out of ten small countries choose American defense …
No, it’s Michael.
Will Mr. Michael Ellis please go straight to the manager’s office… I’ll repeat that… Will Mr. Nigel Mellish please go straight to the manager’s office.
Sorry about that … So unless you have brain cells, or have completed the process of evolution, there’s a wonderful day ahead!
That’s just it. I’d like to say if there are any BBC producers looking in who need people to read the credits for them, I would personally…
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin His head smashed in and his heart cut out And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off And his penis…
It is now four o’clock. Time for your radio to explode.