Monty Python non sequitur thread

I want that man fighting wild dogs by the end of the day!

I want you kids to get a head!

:: canned laughter ::

Blessed are the cheesemakers.

Bruce here teaches classical philosophy, Bruce there teaches Hegelian philosophy, and Bruce here teaches logical positivism, and is also in charge of the sheep dip.

I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?

Bloody Romans.

Can we have your liver then?

Ah, hungry!

Hello, good evening and welcome to another edition of Blood, Devastation, Death War and Horror, and later on we’ll be meeting a man who does gardening. But first on the show we’ve got a man who speaks entirely in anagrams.

He ran away!

Good morning, I am a bank robber. Er, please don’t panic, just hand over all your money.

At seven o’clock Ken gets up, he has a quick shower, a rub-down, gets into his track-suit, and goes back to bed again. At 7:50 every morning Ken’s trainer runs the 13,000 miles from his two-room lean-to in Bangkok and gets him up.

This is a lingerie shop.