Well, while I was randomly searching the net, I somehow stumbled upon this:
Monty Python Toilet Paper
Just go down, click on the Monty Python section, and then you should find the product.
Who would’ve thought?
You can buy it at a store near me called “But is it art?”. Classy stuff.
Yes, but is it suitable for a man with three buttocks?
I don’t know, but if you wipe the right way, it can become butt art.
Lady J, it took a looong time to load that page, and in the interim, my mind popped up with this:
Wouldn’t it be great if the TP could be embedded with a little voice chip? A Python photo or question could be printed on each square, and the act of use could activate the chip.
For example: printed query: “What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?”.:::Wipe::: voice: " What do you mean, African or European swallow?"…“I…I don’t know…Yahhhhhh…” FLUSH
Or even non-sequiturs:
::::WIPE:::
“Oh, Bloody 'ell!”
“Look, tis but a flesh wound!”
“You seek the Holy Grrrrailll!”
“Run Awwwwayyy, Run Awwwayyyy…”
“What a Strange Person!”
“Bring out your deaaadddd”
That’s from * Holy Grail* alone. If any with the technical know-how on this board can make talking toilet paper happen, I think you’d be sitting on the proverbial goldmine.
Lacking the necessary skills, I can only dream of what this future portal might bring.
“Dennis, there’s some lovely filth over here!”
“He must be a king.”
“Why?”
“He’s the only one who hasn’t got s*** all over 'im.”