So, today I took the Kidlet to the gym for some swim time. There’s a tiny warm pool for small kids/therapy purposes. We had been there for quite a while and I was planning to leave in about 5 minutes when a cute little girl got in and instantly introduced herself. She also told me that she was 4 and that she was wearing a new swimsuit. I looked around for a mom for this kid, and figured it must be a woman in the other, nearby pool. So the Kidlet and this little girl played for a couple minutes, until I started wondering why the mom hadn’t arrived yet. I asked her where her mom was, and she pointed to the big lap pool–quite a ways away. I asked if her mom had said she could come over to this pool, and she said yes.
At this point I was feeling distinctly weird about talking to a little girl without her mom’s permission–but her mom was nowhere nearby, and she was very friendly! (Usually, Kidlet plays with the other children–but their parents are right there.) So I left her there and went and caught the eye of the lifeguard. I explained the situation, and the lifeguard told me that she was aware of it and had spoken with the mom before (the mom is in the swim team class, so she was in no way supervising her child). Lifeguard was obviously concerned and intent on watching this kid, and it was time for us to go.
I was appalled at this whole thing. Leaving a 4 year old little girl to play in a pool at a public gym, unsupervised?!? Yeah, mom is present, but 100 feet away, underwater! There is a perfectly good child care dept. at this gym, with great staff, so it’s not like she didn’t have a choice.
I was also clueless as to what to do. Is there anything I could have done? I talked with the lifeguard, and she was aware, so I figured I’d better go do the stuff I was supposed to do and leave it to her, but I keep wondering if I shouldn’t have marched over there and grabbed this ninny of a mother by the ear to drag her over to her daughter. What do you guys think?
I’m going back and forth on this. It is scary to think of all of the kidnappings and of a little girl so out of sight with her mother. But somehow, going over to the mother and giving her an earful doesn’t seem right, either.
I guess I was stumped for a while because I only considered two choices: letting it go or barking at the mom.
But my suggestion would be that you speak to the gym about leaving kids unattended and they may start a policy that this is not allowed. Or perhaps start up an area where children can be supervised, etc. Maybe a lifeguard can just watch that area or something. Frankly, if I owned a gym and heard that this was going on, I’d start to post about not leaving kids unattended or hire someone to watch. I’d be scared about liability issues, too.
I understand that it seems negligent of her, to an extent, to leave her child alone where she can chat it up with strangers. Scary, huh? I’d probably cast a disapproving eye at it, too. She may be shocked at how easily her daughter spoke to strangers or she might shrug it off but until you know her attitude toward the situation, I wouldn’t yell at her or come on too strong. Maybe try approaching the gym first.
You’re a good person be concerned and it’s considerate of you.
Not only is the mother a twit; but apparently the lifegaurd is too. I think I would have went to management and told them the deal. I’m guessing if management caught wind of this they would be pretty concerned too and nip this problem in the bud.
Actually, after discussing this with mr. g and thinking a little, I came to the same conclusion. I’m going to speak with the gym management tomorrow. I’m willing to bet that they already do have a policy, and the mom just hasn’t been informed of it, which I hope she will be.
There already is a children’s area at this gym. It’s cheap and well-staffed, and they have water games twice a week.
Mom’s a negligent fool. I’m not so concerned about the child being abducted (stranger abductions really are rare, despite recent media barrages) but there are a lot of undetectable perverts running around, and anybody could do something to this trusting, friendly little bunchkin wearing very little clothing. That has to be a concern.
But even more of a concern is that this child might drown (or come close) and mom wouldn’t know. Even with a lifeguard nearby, who in their right mind allows a little child to play in water without close supervision? It’s a foolish risk.
Mom obviously thinks that her child is immortal and invincible, or doesn’t care that she isn’t. Talk to gym management. If you really want action, appeal to the manager’s desire to limit liability, which is one of the biggest concerns in that particular industry. Since the mom is so footloose about her responsibility, she may well be the kind to try to turn around and put the blame on the gym if some unfortunate incident occurs. What a nutcase.