A man is waiting in a delivery room while his wife gives birth. They’ve had three children, and due to a really rare, one of a kind even genetic problem that only affects them, all three of their kids have been sideshow worthy freaks (how deformed? The youngest are fused at the spine and share a liver- and they’re not even twins). After years and years and spending every penny they have and every penny they can borrow and going to every specialist in the world, they’re attempting to have one normal baby. The labor was rough so they had to sedate his wife and ask him to leave the delivery room. Thirty hours later the doctor comes out and says, “Mr. Turducken, it’s… a… uh… boy.”
“Is it normal doc? Is it okay?”
“Well, uh… he seems to be healthy.”
“Is it normal? I mean, two arms, two legs, one head, you know…”
“Well, yeah, it… he… has two arms, two legs, one head… I wouldn’t exactly say he’s normal though…”
“Well, how bad is it? Is it bad like covered with hair and a set of udders like his sister Propecia or as in just regular abnormal, cause if it’s like a harelip or a birthmark that’s okay, no problem…”
“Uh, it’s more than a harelip… come with me Mr. Turducken. I think it’s better if you just see him rather than have him described…”
Mr. Turducken nervously goes into his wife’s room. His wife’s still unconscious, which is probably a good think, because when he sees his baby Mr. Turducken almost faints.
It is a boy, it has two (and only two) arms and legs, but it’s head is another matter altogether. The kid has a head the size of a basketball, and on that head is a teeny tiny mouth barely large enough to get a woman’s nipple in, and a nose that’s really just two pin-prick sized holes, and his ears are smaller than miniature English peas, and the rest of his face and head is completely taken up by a single solitary eye, the size of a melon, that seems to glow a fiery orange and pulsate with every breath.
Mr. Turducken cries “Oh my god! How could this be worse?”
The doctors says “He’s blind.”
