Some of you may remember
this thread where I introduced you all to Mike Passion, the zany poster on the IMDB forums who writes bizarre and rambling accounts of his supposed interaction with various celebrities, which are quite hilarious. In this next thread, he discusses Angus Scrimm, Vincent Gallo and John Belushi, all in a completely hilarious and mind-bogglingly weird writing style.
Here is his latest post, regarding Bruce Lee’s death:
There has been much commotion on these boards discussing Bruce’s death due to overload of husheesh and pot. Some maintain that Bruce consumed an aqueduct tablet was riddled with mercury and induced acute brain swellage while others still maintain that Bruce was overloaded by pot which caused the brain swellage. I agree with the latter. The first assumption, based on the report of the HK police and Joushia Lo was a chimera designed to make his death more glamour, more excite. The HK public and the fans were not preparation to know that Bruce was a junkie, and further more, a guy who had to use this things in order to relax, keep calm, and induce sleep. The conger said H.Bee had the figure of a 20 year man iron his prime. That sounds equivocal. So, I tried to do something in an experiment. I tried to see how much weed I could consume, not smoke or indirect. In order to get Bruce’s result, I had to eat the plant, raw and whole, at the husk of the leaves in order to induce reasonable results. Since I lived in Kowloon, it was very easy to obtain low-quality reed from any man sealing. I returned to my rooftop apartment, and I eat the whole thing, many pounts of green weed that was very odour and strong to inhalet. Toback ingest, I almost threw it up, but managed to swallow it all. After words, I gained very pale, and swilled backforth into some cabinets. I kneeled down, and threw up green, squalid liquid, mulched with large, hunks of some Pin-low, or big lumpy loaves of coddle and globs of dogs. I then reeled back from the enema I put in, hauling and banging my head dead long into the floor. Blood, leakage from my brain case. My brother had to call the ambulate and rushed me to the dualism to remove the waste and drugs. I consumed some much to the point of death and so, it is possible that he died like theist, except betty ti-pie-pee find him when he was a dead as a peanut. So south lee, he could have died just like me.
This is easily his most spectacular piece of writing yet.