Ok, there’s this chick I’m considering going out with.
She’s like really thin, very attractive, I’ve know her for awhile so I already know what she is like.
So why can’t I get those special feelings for her, she has already made it more than obvious that she wants me, but (uncharacteristic of what people on the SDMB may think) I haven’t done anything with her sexual. Because it’s not all about sex. Sex is just something fun to share with someone.
What I want/need is someone to love I haven’t been able to find that for a long time. Everyone I talk with sparks sometimes fly, but it’s not that mushy love. I know this sounds odd ecspesially coming from me, but I had this long ago (2 years), and I was completely satisfied. I know that is what is missing but I can’t seem too find it anywhere. A chick friend of mine said “love finds you when you aren’t looking for it” or something like that. Well is that my problem? Should I just let go, and see if it happens with this girl in time?
We’ve hungout for awhile we know who each other are, so there’s not the chance we would get bored of each others personalities or anything like that, we are already friends the only thing is she is really clingy.
Her and her last boyfriend, had to get a proctoligist, after they broke up because they were so stuck up each others @sses. I’m not so sure that would be good starting off a new realationship.
I don’t know what to do?
I am kinda lonely but, I don’t want to be in a pointless relationship where sex is at the center. I’ve done that for awhile, in fact I think that is why I wanted Jill (if you know who she is from previous threads) so badly, I knew with her we had alot in common and we’d be able to have a friend and a lover.
Well anyway I bear my love life in front of the SDMB for advice, yet again.
Love does find you when you’re not searching for it. Trust me, I know.
Just hang out with her and have fun. See what happens. Don’t pressure yourself to have some great romance. Just chill and have fun.
[sub]Nothing wrong with meaningless sex once in a while.
Sure Nicklz, make me post this twice. You owe me…[/sub]
ok, but she is all over me, and it is hard to say no, because I am attracted to her sexually. Ijust don’t know if I could ever grow to love her or not.
Plus she called and we are going out to the clubs tonight, in fact I’m walking out the door right now.
Now that I’ve reread your OP, I’d be concerned about the clingy issue. That would be another good reason NOT to get physically involved too quickly.
Just go out and have a few drinks. Relax and have fun but keep it on a friendly level.
[sub]You know how you can pay me back…check your email…[/sub]
Well, it’s not like every dating relationship has to end up with you both in love with each other. So normally, I’d say that worrying about your potential to fall in love should be no hindrance to going out.
However, I wonder if she believes that…she might very well think that every relationship advances through love, marriage, and 2.5 kids. If she’s clingy, that’s what I’d fear. Which is a good reason to hesitate.
Sorry, I still thought the boards would be closed.
Okay here’s the update
We went had a couple, (she’s a light weight) I got buzzed she got trashed.
We were in the back room of the club where you can only get in if brought back there by someone of the bar, and since I’ve gone to this bar for awhile now they didn’t care, so we are on the sofa with like 10 other people scattered throughout the room, there was a couple people playing a PS2, it was really relaxed I knew everyone their except two chicks (who were really hot), so it was kinda like we were just chillin.
Anyway she is basically sitting on my lap and she’s trashed, and she always asks me to give her a message, so I’m sitting there giving her a message, then she turns around and attacks me, it was a real turn off cause she was drunk, so I pushed her away (believe it or not) and said your kinda tipsy aren’t you, she looks at me like oh no I’ve done something wrong. I assured her I liked her but wasn’t sure about stuff concerning me so she wouldn’t take it personal. Which still leaves me with the option of backing out, but I gave her a kiss on the forehead and said lets go.
We went back to my place, and fell asleep watching TV
THE END
todays current update -
I’m starting to think we should just be friends.
I talked to her while i was at work, she said she felt like she wasn’t good enough for me. And that she feels like she may have messed things up for us, and I reassured her I needed time to sort out my feelings and stuff.
This was an attempt to make her not feel bad, women is this lame attempt, appartent to you girls, or did I do an ok job at damage control?
It’s not lame but it’s standard,saying “it’s not you, it’s me.”
You could say that you didn’t want to take advantage of her while she was drunk.
[sub]Of course, look who you’re raking advice from-the woman who answers to ferret.[/sub]
