More Problems With Nicklz -update-

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Alright anyone who has followed previous posts knows what I recently went through with my best friend Jill.

-update-
Well she won’t talk to me at all and said she no longer wanted to be my friend, walked away. So her attitude has me puzzled and throughout this whole ordeal I wasn’t really in love with her, just the idea of being in love with someone that close to me maybe? Or maybe I confussed my feelings of friendship-love for more of a intimate kind. Thats not to say it wouldn’t have worked. I really don’t know how I feel. The pain I once felt has been replaced with the feeling of loss of a friend. I really think we will never be friends again which hurts.
I’m not sure if I’d even want to be with Jill now or not.

Not after I’ve seen this side of her, looking back now without the puppy dog eyes. I see her differently, it is difficult to describe how I feel now. The only way to explain it is I’ve lost the feelings for her maybe thats because I know they aren’t their for me I guess. Maybe I’ve just gotten over it I don’t know.

And an ironic twist to this whole story is, another girl has entered the picture, I’ve know her for awhile, since HS. She graduates this year, I had a thing for her awhile back, but due to the fact she was kinda seeing a friend of a friend I didn’t pursue it.

Then today my best guy-friend and some chick he is seeing, me and this other girl(stef) all hung out at his house for two or three hours, watched a movie and bullshited for awhile. Now throughout this whole jill thing, stef was always there for me. Then tonight we were watching a movie. J(my guyfriend) and his chick were on the foldout futon, while me and stef were lying on the bed.

Here is were it gets confussing she was lying on my back as a pillow, then I had to move because my back started hurting so I was lying behind her. I wasn’t lying up on her or anything, but she gradually moved back until she was against my chest, kinda like cuddling or something. Now stef is extremely attractive, I’d definitly want to rekindle the my old feelings for her.

The signs were all there for me to make a move like her whispering things about the movie in my ear really soft so she’d have an excuse to cuddle up even closer. Then also in the car we sat in the back and she scooted all the way over next to me, kinda closer than I’d sit next to just some chick I was just friends with, she also kinda let her hand rest on the inner half of my leg(more towards my knee than the other direction) I didn’t make any moves or anything. All I could think about was is she just comfortable around me because were friends, or is she hinting at something?

So this thread was kinda an update and to ask fellow dopers, (especially female advice, but male advice is appreciated also) were is the line between being friends, and trying to hint around about more?? How will I know, and is stef maybe hinting about more?

2

To me, steph sounds into you. If your over Jill and can honestly persue another woman without thinking about her is up to you.

But dude… go for steph! It sounds like the Jill thing is over anyway, so why not move on? Maybe it will turn into something… maybe its just the next step. Either way.

3

Are you sure you want to take our advice again? :wink:

Although, really, we can’t be held responsible for the Jill thing. That girl is messed up something fierce from the sound of it.

I say, go for Steph. Don’t make a big production out of it, just go with the flow.

4

Nick,

Ask her on a date. Get dressed up. Take her somewhere very nice. Get her some flowers. Find out what she likes to talk about. If you both have a good time, ask her if she would like another date. Next time, kiss her hand when you say goodnight. The time after that, kiss her hand again, this time on the palm. If she doesn’t get the idea, drop her like a bad habit.

Tris

5

I am with out a doubt over Jill, and I will pursue stef, although the question is where does the line lay between friends and flirting? I don’t want to make another mistake.

Evilbeth- I’ll listen to you guys every time wether or not your right, because I know your listening to me. thanks

6

IMO-

Those are all “I want you” signals but so far I’d like to second the opinions about a) going with the flow and especially b) Triskadecamus’ advice.

Like I said in the pit thread-deep breaths-calm down and take it easy.

7

Hand on the leg is more than a hint, boyo.

You’ve pulled.

8

I’ve know stef for a long time too. We are good friends I know she is comfortable around me and stuff but how comfortable can a friend get?

9

Tansu’s right-hand on the leg is a flirt move.

And I would know,trust me. :slight_smile:

10

If you like her, go for it. Do not waste any time or your opportunity will likely vanish. The magnitude of my blown opportunities with some really cool and beautiful women are staggering. I don’t even like to think about it.

It’s a damn good fucking thing that the future Mrs. H was so persistent since she is the best of all women that showed interest.

Haj

11

If you like her, go for it. Do not waste any time or your opportunity will likely vanish. The magnitude of my blown opportunities with some really cool and beautiful women are staggering. I don’t even like to think about it.

It’s a damn good fucking thing that the future Mrs. H was so persistent since she is the best of all women that showed interest.

Haj

12

This girl sounds like she’s really interested in you.
It’s Jill’s loss, IMHO.

13

It is Jill’s loss. I still can’t understand her actions throughout this whole thing though. Well anyway I see it as turning into a disaster if I had gone out with her so it’s over it’s done, and I’ve already moved on.

14

Good for you. Now get the snogs in with Stef.

15

I don’t see how you made a mistake stating your feelings for Jill. Try not to be afraid to get something going with Stef. She sounds like she is being fairly direct. You be direct, too, in a nice sort of way. Tell the truth----you find her attractive and would like to get to know her well. You liked her a lot in the past and you like her, still.

16

Perhaps I shouldn’t say this, since I didn’t see the first part of this, but leave her alone and enjoy being with Steph:)

And that hand on the leg thing? Dude, why ELSE would someone do that unless they were flirting?:slight_smile:

17

Nicklz, like everyone else, I say go for it.

I think I know what you feel in losing a best friend (maybe not “best” in my case, but a good one. And someone I loved, albeit maybe not in “that way”). It sucks, and I feel for you.

Can’t give you advice on whether or not she’s flirting with you. I wouldn’t recognize flirting if it ran me over in a car, backed up, and did it again.