More wedding rudeness

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have just got to share with you what came in an invitation to a wedding I will not be attending.

Picture this: two people have found love at an advanced age. How romantic! I only know the woman, but she’s at least 60. They each have their own houses and full lives and admit they need less stuff, not more.

So I asked somebody who would know where they’re registered - I thought I’d get something small. “Oh, there was a card in the invitation.”

Arrrrrgh! I have nearly given up this fight, because it seems nobody is listening, but listen up, people - tacky! Tacky!

Then I actually LOOKED at the card. Here’s what it said:

We don’t want to offend but we have it all,
All household goods and so much more.
To save you shopping, sit back and rest,
A gift of currency is our request.
Don’t go overboard or rob any banks,
Any little thing will make us smile with thanks.
We supply the wishing well,
No wrapping, an envelope who can tell.
Now that we have saved you all the fuss,
It would be appreciated if you would come
And celebrate with us!

Oh, really? Now that you’ve saved me all the fuss of buying you a present and just presenting my cold hard cash, you’d appreciate it if I came and celebrated with you? (Also, you rhymed “all” with “more”.) You admit that you don’t actually need anything, so to save you the trouble of returning shit, you’ve decided to just ask for the goddamned dead presidents already.

The thing is, the woman is a sweet, polite, dear thing - not at all the kind of person I’d imagine sending me this kind of invitation. Can you imagine?

2

That’s disgusting. If you are not young and broke or it’s not your first marriage, it is the height of tackiness to troll for gifts (register)anyway, and this goes well beyond that. Ugh.

I’d skip the wedding and send an envelope containing the two raggediest dollar bills I could find. Maybe write a note of congratulations on one of the bills.

3

As I was reading it I thought that they would suggest a donation to charity since they have everything that they need already. That was pretty tacky.

4

A girl I work with (keep in mind there are 5 people in the whole office) got married last month…she’s been living with the man for 6 years, they have a house, etc. They sent a card with the invitation saying they were registered at a travel agency for their honeymoon and a gift of money, in an unmarked envelope(?) would be suitable. Same request at her jack and jill.

For months leading up to THE WEDDING, all we heard about was “I’m so excited about my vacation, I mean wedding”.

First vacation for both out of country.

We bought her a cookbook and photo album.

Oh, did I mention that the tickets for the jack and jill were $15.00 a person?

Hubby said “it’s no wedding, it’s a fundraiser.” I had to talk him into going. With only five people in the office, our absence would have been noticed and I didn’t want to face that.

5

There’s an idea! In the envelope, a note saying $xx has been donated to Charity A in their honor.

6

I was actually planning to donate to a charity before I read the “poem”. In fact, I did send a small donation to the Heifer Project, because that’s what I was planning to do. I just didn’t do it in their names or send a card. Fuck 'em.

7

Your invitation fails to enthrall,
'cos you have the gall,
To ask for money instead of a shawl,
Or something else I can get at the mall.
This is a judgement call,
I’m not coming - please have a ball,
But you’re getting fuck all.

8

I would have suggested a donation to The Human Fund - “Money for People”.

9

I have never heard this expression before. Is a jack and jill a wedding shower? Or bachelor /bachelorette party?

10

It’s a co-ed wedding shower. Not generally, uh, with a cover charge, in my experience.

11

Near as I can tell Jack and Jill is a fundraiser. You pay for admission, and there are raffles and gambling and all the proceeds go to the couple. And at some of them you’re supposed to give gifts, too.

Also, judging by the time I spent on wedding planning boards, the people who throw them are the first ones to shriek about how tacky it is for someone of Polish descent to include an apron dance in her reception.

12

Oh, they must be different down here - I’ve only heard that term to mean just a regular shower that’s co-ed.

13

That’s what “Sudden Onset Explosive Diarrhea” was invented for.

14

I don’t know where people got the idea that it’s OK to be disgustingly rude as long as you write a smarmy poem to do it.

15

No, registering is always a very nice gesture to the guests; you can register for donations to charities or pictures frames or gourmet jams and flour. People like to give gifts; suggesting charming tokens is helpful.

16

What I don’t understand is why, if they already have everything they need, they are asking for anything at all. Perhaps request a donation to charity or if they wanted to register at Godiva or something so people wanted to could get them a gift they might use but the purpose of getting gifts for people who are getting married was supposed to be to help them set up house, right? If you don’t need that help why would you financially impose on your friends and family?

17

For fuck’s sake, your gift to everyone they know should be to enroll them in an etiquette class—preferably one that teaches them not to ever write their own poetry for mass sending. Since when do “all” and “more” rhyme? If you’re going for a rhyming pattern, you need to apply it 100% or not at all.

Sorry. Poorly written poetry galls me just as much as people who don’t need to begging for cash.

ETA: OK, I just saw where the OP addressed the rhyming thing. Sorry.

18

I’m just giggling away at this. :slight_smile:

I agree with everyone; tacky, tacky, tacky. You’ve got everything; have a nice wedding, tell everyone you don’t need anything, and give gracious thanks if people do give a gift. This really isn’t that hard.

19

I actually did a little Googling and found out that 1) they didn’t even write that shitty poem, and 2) this is evidently a full-fledged fad. “Wishing well” my ass! Get a load of this charming… thing:

More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish … but shhh don’t tell!
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we’re sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

Translation: We’ve been fucking a while and do not need a toaster.

20

It would be almost worth breaking down and getting married just to be able to use that line : )