Considering the number of posts, I decided to create a new thread rather than revive this one. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34169 I’d forgotten about this incident(not sure how I did) and I’m sure you people will have plenty to add.
When I was in 4th or 5th grade, I think, we had P.E. about midday. I still think it should have been at the end of the day, buy hey, life’s a bitch. Anyway, I changed into my shorts and stuff, put my regular clothes(a black pair of pants and red shirt) in my gym bag and went to go play dodge ball or whatever.
After gym we had to go to the library to do research for something we were writing. I’m not real sure about all the specifics of this, but it’s not real important anyway. I was standing on one of those ladders that go across the book shelves so you could reach the top and I went to reach for a book. I’m in plain sight of everybody, by the way, and they all started laughing. I turned my head and saw they were all laughing and pointing at me. The librarian and my teacher, both with looks of horor on their faces, ran over to me as fast as they could told me it was ok and happened to everyone and that I should go to the principal’s office to call my parents and clean up. I still had no idea what was going on. They called my parents, who came and got me.
As it turns out, I’d put a small open bag of M&M’s in my gym back a couple of days before, and it, of course, had spilled into the corner of my bag. The melted chocolate had rubbed all over the ass of my pants. Since the pants were black, I didn’t notice it upon removal, and put them on. I spent the next few days trying to convince everybody that I hadn’t shit my pants, but to this day, I think a few of them are still pretty sure I did.