As far as I know, whole milk is the default, not 2%. If you want 2%, you have to mix whole and skim. This is also a Royal Pain in the Ass. As for people wanting to mix up their sweeteners, yes, they do that, as well as have syrups and the sweeteners. They might even have sugar-free syrups (thanks Splenda!) so you could throw those in. And finally, I’m not sure if Starbucks is capable of doing this since the one by me uses automatic shot pourers, but you could ask for +4 or +5 shots all the way through (standard is between -3 and 3, with 0 being “perfect.”). I suppose you could ask for +7 for the extra syllable, but +5 is pushing the drinkable envelope as it is.
I’m not sure a twist of lemon goes with a blended drink. With a hot drink? Let’s see how far we get, integrating other suggestions as well:
venti seven-shot three-shot-decaf one-and-a-half-pump sugar-free amaretto hundred and seventy degree two percent seven Nutrasweet with whip extra caramel extra sprinkles caramel macchiato with a twist of lemon.
- And that’s pronouncing “caramel” as two syllables. If they calibrate their thermometers to five-degree increments, “hundred and seventy-five degree” for one more. I think “hundred and seventy-seven degree” is probably pushing it.
Me, I can’t take more than about nine syllables before lunch.
From The Fusco Brothers:
Lars: Black coffee, please.
Lance: Iced cappuccino for me.
Lars: I don’t know about you, Lance, but I like my coffee like I like my women: HOT!
Lance: So do I – cold, pretentious, and in glasses.
Just a guess:
As far as the milk/creamers and sweeteners go, I get my coffee and go to the fixin’s bar and put in the creamer and Nutraweet myself. Does this work for anyone else?
You can buy the coffee for home consumption. That’s all I will drink. And, the decaf tastes exactly the same as the regular, without that stinky-ass smell decaf normally has.
Sure. They have some sugar-free syrups.
Starbucks, like KFC, must use an ingredient that makes you crave their product fortnightly.
I have pretty much always been a black coffee drinker. That all changed about a year and a half ago when I gave in and discovered Starbucks and their sugar free vanilla lattes…BREVE. Ummm…a latte made with half and half…<drool> I can’t help myself. What’s better than that? A latte made with whipping cream. Damn.
But I digress. I apologize for the hijack to spew about a personal addiction. I have no idea what the longest coffee order would be. There’s too many things I don’t really get about some of the jargon.
Curse you, purveyors of tasty caffeine laden beverages!! 
Starbucks, like KFC, must use an ingredient that makes you crave their product fortnightly.
I have pretty much always been a black coffee drinker. That all changed about a year and a half ago when I gave in and discovered Starbucks and their sugar free vanilla lattes…BREVE. Ummm…a latte made with half and half…<drool> I can’t help myself. What’s better than that? A latte made with whipping cream. Damn.
But I digress. I apologize for the hijack to spew about a personal addiction. I have no idea what the longest coffee order would be. There’s too many things I don’t really get about some of the jargon.
Curse you, purveyors of tasty caffeine laden beverages!!
I have the opposite situation: I can just walk into the coffee place in the ground floor of my building, they say “Usual?”, I nod and hand over my money, they get me my coffee and I walk…
Look mum, no syllables!
[sub]I should add that this isn’t what usually happens, I’m not usually quite that grumpy in the mornings, but it has happened.[/sub]
I don’t go to Starbucks much; the coffee tastes sort of burnt and overly strong to me. I guess because of that, I don’t know what a shot is, or some of the other variations you all are discussing. I will admit to loving their Frappachinos, but I actually got hooked on the bottles of them they sell in the grocery store. I liked them well enough to concoct my own recipe at home! I save the bottles and refill with my own homemade stuff. It’s appalling how much sugar it takes, though, to approximate the Starbucks taste.
But I must say: My absolute favorite coffee is the plain ole bottomless cup o’ joe from a diner, served in a heavy white coffee cup, and saucer, with half-and-half.
Question for the Louisiana contingent: How does chickory make coffee taste? I’ve seen coffee with chickory in the grocery, but I’ve not been brave enough to try it.
It has a mellow “coffee-like” taste. My MIL uses 1/2 coffee w/ Chickory (French Market, IIRC) and 1/2 of an espresso mix (the name escapes me for the moment) to make her drip. It has a terriffic and stable flavor that keeps for quite some time on the warmer.
The espresso mix she uses is Medaglia D’Oro Caffè Espresso
A shot is just a shot of espresso. At Starbucks, or at least the one by me, they’re pre-made, so they just push a button, thus taking any of the skill out of it. Most places they take the espresso bean, calculate the humidity, the temperature, the number of times you’ve glanced at the beans since taking them out of the bag, do a small dance, sacrifice some customers, grind them in the right amount, compact it just enough, and then run very hot water through it until you get the perfect espresso shot.
There’s a Starbucks in my college, apparently it’s currently the only outlet in Ireland. Well it doesn’t have nearly as many exciting options as you discuss. And I think the portions are smaller too.
Starbuck’s is the only place I have found that can screw up a cup of hot chocolate.
I’ve had hot chocolate in about a dozen Sbucks in many places. One sip, straight into the trashcan. I’ll never buy anything in a Sbucks again.
Having been a barrista, I must say that calling drinks improves one’s ability to read Dr Suess out loud.
My favorite to call was venti iced nonfat caramel machiatto no extra caramel extra vanilla.
The “no” part means no whipped cream, which seems kind of silly with two extra ounces of syrup tossed into the mess.
My personal favorite to drink was a venti iced chai with a shot of cinnamon.
Ah, but syrup is not a dairy product. I always order soy and “no whip” because I’m lactose intolerant. It’s not calorie counting.
I stand corrected.
I would also submit that whether or not the whipped cream is a dairy product will depend on the quality of the establishment.
1/2 shot? I always go all the way!!! 
slight hijack
IIRC, Coffee with chicory is/used to be served at many fast food establishments. The chicory is used to cut the coffee. The flavor is very similar, but chicory is much cheaper. Chances are you’ve had it. I can taste the difference, but I really really really hate chicory.
end slight hijack