I’ve never shared this publicly, partly because it was so traumatizing but mainly because it’s just so bizarre.
I dated a woman from late 1994 to early 1996, then we broke up. It was a long distance relationship by that time; she was on the west coast, I was in Atlanta. So I dusted myself off and tried to forget her.
A few months later I started getting these cryptic, accusatory emails from her, calling me, among other things, a “cyberpimp.”
I wrote back asking what the hell she was talking about, and her response was to the effect of “you know what I’m talking about, you creep,” which of course I didn’t.
But I kept pressing, via email, then finally called her on the phone and the truth emerged.
Apparently in recent months she’d gone out with a couple of different men who had much in common with her: TOO much, she decided.
She developed the notion that somehow I was meeting these men over the Internet, telling them all of her interests, likes and dislikes, then sending them to her to pretend to be compatible and ask her out.
When I quite reasonably asked why anyone would do such a thing, she had no answer, but she remained convinced.
And she told me how she got her “revenge.” She was/is a writer, and she wrote a story that cast me as a gay man dying of AIDS and presented the story at a public conference. Apparently she named me as the inspiration to this (no doubt puzzled) audience, in an attempt to humiliate me.
I’ve tried to apply a “no psychos” rule to my dating career since then.