The 70’s music channel on digital cable is a godsend, but on back to back days I caught the two single most sickeningly cutesy sweet songs in the history of music:
Clint Holmes- “Playground in My Mind” known to some as “My Name is Micheal”. Nauseating lyrics here:
Tons of songs have similarly treacly lyrics and sappy lead vocals- what puts this one over the top is the single most annoying child voice in music history singing the chorus. A truly wretched listening experience.
Probably even worse, though, is Bobby Goldsboro’s vomit inducing “Wathcing Scotty Grow”, aka “That’s My Boy”. Better known as the background music for a montage of Homer & Abe playing catch and whatnot.
What an utter piece of sentimental dog shit this is. Three minutes of smarmy smugness about how cute everything sonny boy does, (he rolls his feces up into a ball, then smears it on the wall, that’s my boy). Asshole can’t be bothered even with watching TV now that he has a son, yet has time for beer? (You have your cocaine and your blowjobs…) And to cap it off, brings God into the mix in the last stanza.
Oddly enough I find his other big sappy ballad, “Honey”, to be kind of touching.
Are there any other songs that compete with these two suckfests?
I nearly nominated this one in the Weirdest Top 40 songs thread, but I was too lazy to look it up. Truly awful! I like to torment my children with it (we have it on a 70s hits compilation).
On the other hand, that’s what I like about 70s music…it’s so interesting to listen to a song like that and try to figure out what the fuck people were thinking. First, that it was even created, second, that it ever got on the radio, third, that someone must have listened to it and liked it enough to let it happen again. Fascinating.
They don’t get much worse than Rocky, by Austin Roberts. Run Joey Run by David Geddes was pretty bad too.
One of my friends specializes in this kind of crap. He burned an entire CD of 70’s shit, most of which featured the hero or heroine dying. Every song in this thread was on it, plus “Indiana Wants Me”, but that one has good enough background music to avoid being classed as the “worst of the worst”.
Then he actually listened to the CD–more than once. I don’t know how he did it.
Sir Paul McCartney inflicted We all stand together on the British public in 1984, instantly nullyfying the good music kama built up over the previous 3 decades in one mind numbing blow.
IMO, The new millenium is turning out to be great for this kind of drivel as well…as witnessed by the unfathomable popularity of James Blunt.
“You’re annoying Mr. Blunt, iiiiit’s true!”
The song that really gets my teeth grinding is that “So you had a bad day” piece of shite that gets incessant airplay. Dunno who it’s by, don’t really want to know either, I’d just like to listen to the radio for 30 minutes w/o having to hear it.
