Now, we’ve all gotten up to some kind of mischief at some point in our lives. Prank calls, TP’ing houses, throwing eggs, pissing on cars, whatever–but some acts of juvenile terrorism cross the line. What’s the most offensive prank/piece of juvenile mischief you’ve seen?
Me, this last Halloween I worked at a costume store across the street from a sporting goods store. I wandered into the sporting goods store after work one day only to find that someone had taken a shit in a to-go box from the restaurant next door and lobbed it into the store.
I drove me brother to a fast food place that had a letter-by-letter marquee on the ground, and it advertised “Now hiring closers”, and my brother was going to steal the “c”, but he chickened out at the last minute.
A friend of mine was once taught guitar lessons out of his apartment. One day he took on a new student, taught the lesson, let the student use his bathroom, then the student left. Friend went into the bathroom a little later to find the floor, walls, ceiling, and fixtures smeared with shit.
It would have to be those shit-for-brained jerks who launched breeze blocks and frozen turkeys off highway overpasses. What possesses someone to do this stuff? I remember they did a story on the news about a woman who was brain-damaged from one of these “pranks.” In fact, I think skullduggery is way too light to describe that action. It would be terrorism, plain and simple.
I heard a news story quite a while back about how some gangs had taken to filling balloons (??) with acid and lobbing them into the open windows of cars to explode all over the drivers. Had second thoughts about rolling down my windows for a while after that.
A guy just got 40 years for it here. He was tossing stones/bricks from an overpass not half a mile from my house. His explanation of his behavior: “I dunno.” (or something like that)
I went to high school in a pretty and well treed suburban community, much like any other.
So when the fall came, raking of leaves was a must and yard waste pick up day was pretty easy to spot. So late one such evening, herb enhanced, and wandering with friends through our leafy neighbourhood, we eventually came across a home with no bags of leaves. And it’s clear why, no trees on the property.
So we took it upon ourselves to collect up bagged leaves from blocks around and quietly, in the dark of night, tear them open and spread them around on this one particular lawn. They were nearing three feet deep, covering every inch of the front lawn when we finally called it quits. We even took the torn bags away with us.
We giggled and laughed all the way home figuring the poor guy probably didn’t even own a rake!
It ain’t bank robbery, I know, but it’s the best I got.
One of the merrymakers in the events described was in the habit of driving home on his moped on garbage night, and kicking over the cans at the curb as he went. Destructive for no purpose what so ever, it always baffled me a little, but teenagers are just idiots sometimes. Of course the day came when he kicked the can and it was filled with something heavier than expected and instead of the can going over the moped went down. Served him right, I figured.
I went to a boarding school for highschool. I got to fooling with the lock on my dorm room door, and figured out how tumbler locks worked. Several of the tumblers were “split”, which allows more than one key to work. Working diligently in the dark of night, I managed to make a working alternate key.
This was done purely out of curiosity. Imagine my surprise when I found that this key worked in every door of the dorm. And not just that - it worked in nearly every lock anywhere at the school - a universal master key! (Not an especially brilliant example of security design.)
I started out by sneaking into rooms for minor mischief - rearranging things or setting one chair on a table. The temptation to do more and more got hold of me. I was caught once, but bluffed my way out by claiming the door had been left unlocked. Another time I was nearly caught red-handed - had to huddle in a dark room for nearly two hours. I decided that if I persisted I’d surely be nabbed and expelled in disgrace. So I threw the key into a pond and turned my back on a life of crime.
Well, these are only FOAF stories, so most likely apocryphal. Take it for what it’s worth.
Story #1: Several friends at Texas A&M had an RA that they despised. Original teller of the story related several details on the RA - stick up his ass had a stick up its ass, etcetera - to establish the boy’s deserving this. They decide to get this guy. The plan involved a gallon size specimen jar, a canned abalone, some beer, some soda, and some bladder capacity.
They began by putting the abalone, beer, and soda in the jar and then filling it to capacity with urine. They then sealed the jar with wax and hung it over the side of their balcony for several weeks. In the Texas sun. At some point, RA goes away for a long weekend. The men involved know what his car looks like and that he always leaves the window cracked. So, one of them borrows a gas mask, another borrows a pair of tongs, and they head out after midnight.
When the jar was cracked open, the one without the gas mask began vomiting from the stench. The one with the gas mask plucked the abalone out of the jar, slipped it through the window, and then disposed of the remaining liquid by pouring it out on the ground. The car was then left to roast in the summer sun for days.
When the RA returned, you can probably imagine the state of his car. The original teller of the tale said that the insurance totalled it out.
Store #2 - ? Various methods of messing with your dorm room. Again, mostly apocryphal.
in a dorm room heated by steam radiator: Close all the windows. Spread an inch thick layer of manure on the floor and sow grass seeds through out. Close and seal door. Let the next occupant/RA/janitor deal with the smelly jungle that results.
take an old fashioned 12" vinyl record sleeve made of cardboard. Pour several tablespoons of cocoa powder into it. Lay it on the floor in front of another person’s door. Slide the open end under the door and stomp on the sleeve, distributing the cocoa powder several feet over the interior.
in the bathroom: lace the toilet seat with toothpaste. Saran Wrap the toilet bowl and put the seat back down.
buy a case or more of Dixie cups. One by one, fill each as full as possible and put on the floor. Cover the floor all the way up to the door, close the door behind you.
Strange how I haven’t heard more of these things since I left college…
On a related note, I heard a FOAF tale of someone doing something similar to his advisor, but the cups were filled about half way, and each one was stapled to each of the surrounding ones. One giant stapled together water-filled dixie cup disaster waiting to happen.
I remember in one of the sequels, when TGB is away at the Jesuit boarding school, he takes a wax impression to whittle a wooden key that gives him access to the attic so he can make weekly trips to a local grocer for contraband candy.
