I guess that means that President Bush isn’t an asshole. :rolleyes:
So, Willie was on “Monk” (tv show) tonight and made mention of Helotes in the show, when introducing the band. I thought it was pretty cool. Kinda took me by surprise to see Willie and Helotes mentioned just after we were talking about it.
Think somebody in Hollywood reads the Dope?(looks over shoulder kinda paranoid like) 
Helotes must be the answer to the OP, cause Willie said it on national television and everyone knew where it was, w/out saying Texas.
For the ones with pronounciation guides, pretend they have one syllable to acheive accuracy. Thank you. Carry on.
Sour Lake
Mexia [muh-hare]
Black Jack & Blackjack (there are two, neither has a post office)
Lone Star (there’s 5 of em)
Kosse [kaah-see] (If you can say it 3 times in one second, you’ve said right. Also the birthplace of Bob Wills.)
Wheelock [wheeeee!-lock] (lost out on being the state capital by one vote and now has 100-some-odd people)
Paluxy
Box Church (just south of Groesbeck)
Tuscola
Idalou
Boon Prairie
Maizefield
Seven Knobs
Vidor
Goliad
Ladonia
Axtell
Breemond
Maypearl
Oletha
Thornton [thornt-un]
Thorndale
Jewett
Shiro [shi-roe]
Lufkin
Snook
North Zulch
Bastrop
Pflugerville [floo-ger-ville]
Tehuacana [tay-wah-cana]
Brenam
Calvert
Lometa
Gun Barrel City
Manheim
Bi-Stone
Gude (north of Mexia)
Wortham
East Bernard
Westphalia [wes-fail-ya]
West (West is east of West Texas, and west of East Texas, North of Waco, and South of Dallas
Scurry
Daisetta [di-zetta]
Zipperlandville**
*City names curtesy of My Boyfriend, Texas Traveler Extrordinaire. Upon inspection, you may notice that most of these cities are localized around Franklin, where he grew up. Ironically, Franklin is the most common name in the country. And just to note, my BF now lives about 10 miles from Bug Tussle, proof that it exists.
**Seriously, look it up. All of these can be found on Mapquest
Good guide, Palmyra! One of my favorite Texas town names is Bois d’Arc = bow-dark.
I could always tell if someone was a local by how they pronounced the nearby town of Humble. If you said the “h”, you weren’t from that neck of the woods.
I don’t think anyone’s mentioned Gun Barrel City yet. My cow-orkers commute from there every day.
Of course I’m personally fond of Poetry (pronounced por-tree)
But I have to say Mesquite is about as Texas as it gets. There seems to be some sort of rule there that you have to own a pick-up and that it has to have a gun-rack.
My grandparents lived in Wickett, Texas, which for years was the town I thought was the epitome of small-town West Texas. No fooling, population under 500. As kids visiting, we’d walk through the oil fields looking for fallen oil rig signs. For shopping (even grocery shopping), they’d go “to town” - the big city of Monahans. For Big Fun, they’d drive another 30 minutes to Odessa! Wheee!
I still think “Kilgore” is the best name for a town in the state that gave us Bush.
And I’ll be living there in six months! ::dances::
Clarification: The dancing is for the fact that I’ve been looking to live in Texas with my sweetie for two years now, not because of the name of the town.
Haha! Grandpa likes to tell the story about how, years ago, they locked a man up in the jail in Weesatche and he escaped by burning it down. Yeah, it’s a tiny little wooden building.
He lives down the road by the cafe, I’ve eaten there more times that I can remember. The food’s not great, but the decor is interesting.
I’ve never been to the cajun place, or if I have, I don’t remember it.
The other imaginary towns in KOTH have great names too. For some reason I laughed my ass off the time Hank suggested a nearby town as a vacation spot, and Peggy rolled her eyes and said “Oh, great McMaynardberry. Gateway to Durndle…”
E d’Mann, my parents used to live in Kemp, which is next to Gun Barrel City, so I know where that is.
I resent that you, uh, Elizabeth City person, you.
Actually, Fort Worth is known (seriously) as Cowtown. I really like it, because it’s much like a small town without being a small town. Not that I like real small towns, though. Detest them. Hate them with a passion.
True story (COS): I went to a wedding shower and saw a woman I hadn’t seen in years. Upon finding out that I was living in Fort Worth after having gone to college in south Arkansas, she said, “I bet you hated having to leave AR, didn’t you?” I gave her a look of shock and said, “No! I hate Arkansas!” without thinking about it. If she hadn’t caught me off guard by, I would’ve said a more polite, “No, I really like Fort Worth.”
Stop that, now–you’re making me homesick for Alpine! Hell, we had a 2.5 hour drive to Odessa-Midland just to go to the mall, Barnes and Noble, and grab some groceries at the H.E.B. Monahans was just a gas stop, 'ceptin when the sand dunes were the destination.
Now, Norfolk-VA Beach-Chessapeake has become my “Midland”. Except that it’s closer, more fun, and much more interesting!
Sorry about that, Deadly Accurate, but as a fomer resident of the Dallas side of DFW (1974-1991) and inhabitant of real West Texas (1992-2002), I couldn’t help myself. Fort Worth ain’t so bad.
Shucks, with the rain and cold outside today–and the re-appearance of this thread–I’m a-startin’ to git homesick. Even mah typin’ startin’ ta git a rediculously exaggerated Texican accent: I wanna go home with the armadillo….
As a matter of fact, my Dad went to college in Alpine.
What got me was that all those folks in Odessa, Monahans, yes even Alpine, always said they were in West Texas. I always thought, “WHAT? How’s that? I have to drive EAST for hours to get to you guys, surely this isn’t West Texas?” (Yes, I grew up in El Paso).
No, how about “happiness is Lubbock, Texas in my rearview mirror”… yes, I worked there for 3 months, why do you ask?
My nominees were going to be 'Cut ‘n Shoot’ and ‘Dime Box’, but they’ve already been mentioned, so I’ll offer
LaGrange (home of the best little whorehouse in texas and title of an old ZZTop song)
Roundtop
Also, here’s one for the DFW crowd:
Queston: What does Dallas have that Fort Worth doesn’t have?
Answer: A really nice city about 20 minutes away.
Yeah, Arlington is pretty nice.
:o
Dumb me. I read your joke backwards.
Are you a Mulerider?
In order for a town’s name to sound truly Texan, it has to be a German or Spanish name that is completely mispronounced. Therefore, I nominiate the following:[ul][li]Refugio (“Re-FYURE-io”),[]Bandera (“Ban-DEER-uh”), []New Braunsfels (“New BRON-fuls”), andManchaca (see my location.)[/ul]Of all of these, Bandera sounds the most Texan to my ears, and it also is known as the Cowboy Capital of something or other. Unfortunatley, Bandera is on the Medina, which is one of the few Spanish rivers that early Texans bothered to pronounce correctly.[/li]
New Braunfels, on the other hand, has the distinction of having the Guadalupe river (“Guad-uh-LOOP”, with no “river” after) running through it. So, not only is the name of thown mispronounced, the name of the river running through it is mispronounced as well.
So I say New Braunsfels, or just go with Muleshoe.
Sadly, Homebrew, you’ve learned my deep dark secret. Yep, I graduated from SAU in December 1996.
Coldfire: wait until you’re in line at the movie theatre behind a guy in blue jeans, a belt with a buckle the size of his child, cowboy boots, white t-shirt and a 10 gallon hat.
So how in the hell do you know how Bois d’arc is pronounced…I’m from there!
or within a couple of miles. I’ve got family living there even today. Matter of fact, my family was one of the first settlers in North Anderson county at Beaver Valley (pre-civil war) which was a mile south of Bois d’arc, others have been here since the Republic…try the Texas Handbook and it should tell ya 'bout some of my kin.