Kythereia It’s all about the Knights Tale for you, isn’t it 
What’s this about a foot of rain in So California? What in the world is going on over on that side of the country? Is it El Nino time again?
Yesterday . . . I stepped in some ballerina tinkle.
So what are you so afraid of?
[Paraphrased Calvin & Hobbes]
Calvin: I’ve been thinking about this Santa Claus business. Does he really exist? If so, why doesn’t he show himself? Why all the secrecy? If not, who started this rumor?
Hobbes: Isn’t it some sort of religious holiday?
Calvin: To be perfectly honest, I’ve kinda got the same questions about God.
[/Paraphrased C&H]
Oh, you poor thing! Did you hurt yourself?
Well, if that can count, how about:
"I AM MASTURBATING LIKE A MOTHERFUCK, CECIL ADAMS.
(And whats with the underscore between “about” and the colon? It doesn’t show up in the composition box while I’m typing, and I can’t get rid of it. Is this what I get for playing around in a thread attacking the Cecil?)
That I might have to track the both of you down and do nasty things to you, for getting that song running through my head.
If I can get there ahead of the rest of the hordes, that is. 
You don’t know what you’re up against.
Aaaaaaagh! :stabs forehead with pencil:
Oh, shush. 
Now excuse me while I go thwap iampunha for getting that stupid song in my head.
Motherfuck, motherfuck, mother mother fuck fuck…
May I suggest we cut Mississippiman some slack? I went a couple hundred posts before posting anything of any worth. I takes time to pick up the ropes.
Ah, the power of nobody having my address…
I have your AIM, though. evil grin
Good grief.
I’m not sure if you’re looking for a straight/serious answer, or if this is just silliness, but the fact is that Cecil is an eccentric genius, and I emphasize the “eccentric” part. He’s convinced that if photographs of him are allowed out, he’ll be mobbed by fans every time he goes to the grocery store, they’ll tear his clothes and never give him a moment’s peace.
OK, so I think he’s fantasizing big time and over-estimating his popularity. He’s the boss, I ain’t gonna tell him that.
That’s why no TV appearance and no photos. Interviews and radio shows (mostly NPR), he lets Ed Zotti do those; again, he’s afraid that if he turns up at the radio studio, someone will photograph him and BLAM! there goes his privacy. That’s why he doesn’t “show his face.”
Is that what Ed tells you when he’s wearing the mask?
It’s rumored that Cecil HAS shown his face to select Dopers…
Who were never seen nor heard from again.
Wasn’t that sung by Motherfuck and The Mississippimen?
From what I understand the front grille of the '69 Torino was based on Cecil’s face. That could just be a rumor though.
I submit to you names of dopers who were personally greeted by the Perfect Master:
aha
Ultress
Grace
There are others, oh sure, but have you seen any of these folks around in the last year? And if that’s what happens to folks so much as greeted by The Man…
[sub]Do yer worst, Canuckienne.[/sub]
Does Cecil get smarter every time a bell rings?
oh, please don’t burst my bubble…