Welbywife’s mom is a great lady with a singsong voice. Our girl dog loves her voice. Anytime WMIL speaks our little scottish terrier Pandora gets all excited and tail-waggy, as if WMIL is only talking to make her happy. Witty and intelligent I’ve liked the woman since the day I met her. She is, sadly, dying of cancer. And that’s what I hate.
Welbywife went to visit her in Russia last week and decided to load her on a plane and bring her here, mainly because her father is sick too, and can’t manage to take care of her mother. I expect she’ll be with us until the cancer finishes running through her body. The docs have given her, in the best doctor tradition, anywhere from two hours to a couple of years to live.
That’s really tough, welby, but good on you for taking care of her. I know she will be in the best of hands for whatever time she has left. Let’s hope it’s closer to the two years than the two hours, too! Please know I’ll be thinking about you and your family.
Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about it, welby! I’m offering prayers for her, and for your wife and all of you. I lost my father to leukemia 15 years ago, so I understand what you’re facing. And what you may go through.
welby for what it’s worth, I’m sending prayers and good thoughts to wmil and the whole welby family. Please let us know how things are going from time to time.
Thanks, everyone. It’s kind of horrifying to see such a vibrant person being eaten away from the inside.
The other night she came into our room with a towel in her hands. She was looking at it very closely, and told Welbywife that she could see little Chechnians in the towel. The wife and I, of course, thought she’d lost her mind, so we humored her a little bit.
It turns out that she did see little Chechnians in the towel. It was a leopard pattern and the little spots looked like people wearing a full head dress, kind of like the ones you see in movies. When we discovered this it made me realize how truly sharp her mind and imagination are.
And it makes me wonder who’s mind is going faster.
Wow, that sounds like one of the toughest situations a person can be in. I’ll bet you’d even be willing to trade places to ease the pain. Best of luck, take care.
You are truly a wonderful son in law and husband to support the women in your life like this during such a trying time.
Have you had her seek an American doctor’s opinion yet?
How does it work with insurance and hospitals if she is from Russia? ( If this is too personal, just ignore it.) I am always fascinated by how things like this are handled.
welby, believe me, I feel your pain. Fifteen years ago, I took care of my mom while she died of lung cancer. I know what you mean about the docs and their prognoses, too. I mainly blame it on the legal system, because these days, if a doc says “six months to live”, and the person dies in three months, there are people who will sue for “mental anguish”, and, if the doc says “six months to live”, and the patient lives for two years, there are people who will sue for “mental anguish”. What’s a doctor to do?
I strongly suggest, that as soon as you can get a doctor to give a prognosis of six months or less that you contact The Hospice Society. We had them during my mom’s last few months, and they were soooo helpful. They expedited getting her some medical equipment that made caring for her easier; they took care of the immediate stuff when she died; they got her really strong pain medication when it got bad; they were kind and compassionate and wonderful.
Meanwhile, my thoughts and prayers will be with you!
Shirley, basically we get to pay for it all out of pocket, since she doesn’t have insurance. Fortuantely it hasn’t been too bad (yet) and we’re looking at options. Probably we’ll wind up mortgaging the house in the end, but our thinking is that it’s only money, WMIL is far more important. On the other hand my credit is bad enough that it won’t make a difference if I never pay them.
Norimew, thanks for the suggestion. My dad died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago, and we had Hospice out to the house for him. They certainly do a wonderful job.
{{{{{{{{{Welby and Welbywife}}}}}}}}}}}man, that is rough.
Couldn’t she apply for citizenship in an emergency circumstances then request medicaid/care? I know nothing about this stuff so I am talking out of my butt and hoping to inspire others who are more knowledgable to chime in.
Can you talk to Hospice and see what they may offer?
I feel for you and wish I could whip up some easier financial alternative than the status quo.