Mother thinks hospital has named baby "Female"--come on!

Yesterday, my dopey sister told us that her friend’s mom is an OB-GYN nurse and that one of the patients was so stupid, she thought the hospital had named her newborn girl “Female” since it appeared on the baby’s bracelet. I saw an episode of “Designing Women” (it was the 80s and I didn’t know any better) with that stupid joke in it. So, is this another urban legend courtesy of “Designing Women” or can someone confirm that this happened?

The answer is none, none more black.

It’s funny how snopes seems to have covered everything we’re curious about over here! I’m always going over there and they answer my tacit questions. Of course, it’s difficult to prove a legend negatively - so I don’t know if this absolutely confirms your suspicion that the story is bogus. But it certainly couches the story in terms of the other kazillion “goofy lady gave her baby girl a goofy name” story.

There are enough real goofy names out there, we don’t need to make up new ones. Anybody heard of the member of Congress from New England, Richard Swett? Calls himself “Dick”. Not kidding.

My mother, who was a teacher, insists that she had a “Female” (pronounced fe-mahlly) in her school. This would have been Lemira Elementary in Sumter, South Carolina in the late '70s or early '80s.

I have personally met women named Dynel, Qiana and “Lukemia,” so nothing would surprise me.

How about the NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle? I always wonder what went through his mind when he decided to use Dick instead of Richard.

The credits on the “Oz” TV series (the one set in the prison, on HBO I think) list someone named “Male Baby Alexander” (not sure about the last name, and there’s an accent mark over the e in “Male”).

Not to doubt your mother’s veracity, but such claims are often argued on alt.folklore.urban and no substantive proof of them has been produced yet.

‘Funny’ names seem to abound: ‘Lemonjello’ and ‘Orangejello,’ ‘Nosmo King,’ ‘Syphilis’ and ‘Gonnorhea.’ I’m sure that other readers could chime in with many more.

Unfortunately, none of these names have been bestowed, at least according to the Social Security Death Index:

A search did turn up one ‘Female,’ Female Spigner who has born and died on the same day in 1994. I don’t think this unfortunate was the inspiration for all the ‘Female’ funny name stories.

What all these names have in common is an unsavory subtext, especially when set in a story that emphasizes the race of the mother.

Andrew Warinner

Just did a lookup using Switchboard, and found 7 “Jesus Christ” listings.

hmmm…I don’t know if the radio is an accurate source to beleive, but if it is…two years ago while driving to school, they announced the birth of a female baby “shithead” (pronounced shi-thade)on the radio because the newspaper (Dallas Morning News) would not print it. I dunno…sounds like it could be true…

tipi :slight_smile:

Just recently retired from the California Court of Appeal is a well-respected judge whose last name is Fukuto . . . .

I have met the man, argued cases in front of him, and swear that this is indeed his name.


It is not uncommon to find, in the former outer reaches of the British Empire, non-white women whose doting parents named them “Lady”.

John W. Kennedy
“Compact is becoming contract; man only earns and pays.”
– Charles Williams

Which differs almost not at all from the number of women in the U.S. named Donna or La Donna.


Once, when I was really bored, I flipped through the White Pages trying to find funny names. I stopped looking when I found “Assa Redd”.

From AnyWho white pages:

Druff,Dan Cohutta, GA 30710-0000
706 555 8550

181 Reservoir Avenue
Providence, RI 02907-3402
401 555 1529

Snott,D (D. = Drippy?)
16402 96th Street
Jamaica, NY 11414-3708
718 555 7390

3474 Seymour Avenue
Bronx, NY 10469-2174
718 555 0139

Poop,Scoopers (Now wait a minute!
Bakersfield, Is this the SD or pure. . .)
CA 93301-0000
805 555 7667

Poop,Deck (Now I know why they swab it
9570 Devils Lake Highway so much.)
Addison, MI 49220-9306
517 555 7225

Pooh,Winnie T
26 Pond Court
Milpitas, CA 95035-4352
408 555 0510

Pooh,W T
2101 Moyer Street
Baltimore, MD 21231-1655
410 555 9263

Pooh,W T
171 Jocassee Lake Road
Salem, SC 29676-3104
864 555 5697

Pooh,W T
191 Dickard Road
Walhalla, SC 29691-5809
864 555 051130192

Pooh,W T
30192 Rhea County Highway
Spring City, TN 37381-5567
423 555 5135

Pooh,W T
2021 Park Road Nw
Washington, DC 20010-1022
202 555 2308

1949 Calvert Street Nw
Washington, DC 20009-1557
202 555 3642

1024 Dutch Creek Road
Klamath River, CA 96050-0000
530 555 2487

Plano, TX 75074-0000
972 555 9701

723 S Joplin Avenue
Joplin, MO 64801-4515
417 555 7541

Bowlegs,Iwana (Samata? Dawn Laika
4125 Okfuskee knockknees?)
Wewoka, OK 74884-0000

Groom,Iwana (Sadie Hawkins rides again!)
Tolar, TX 76476-0000
254 555 4600

Harvey,Iwana (Sorry, he’s already taken.)
204 Martha Drive
TX 75494-3614
903 555 6431

Whitehurst,Yuwanda D (Patty? Only if she’s
2009 Winford Road a pardonable sin.)
Baltimore, MD 21239-3737
410 555 0788

Podin,Yuwana (No, but Patty does.)
735 W Treadwell Street
AR 72701-5762
501 555 1824

Wilson,Yuwanna (How 'bout just a 1/2-Nelson.)
1228 Ne 16th Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73117-1018
405 555 2789

Mccord,Yawanda (How’re da tires?)
1008 15th Avenue S
Nashville, TN 37212-2414
615 555 3313

Schmuck,Youra (Waddaya want, Babee?)
Las Vegas,
NV 89125-0000
702 555 6990

Derryberry,Iva L (Just stereotype of
836 Pisgah Dulan Road Dixieland)
Brilliant, AL 35548-3413
205 555 2870

Gardner,Iva (So I seed.)
5980 Highway 96
Fayette, AL 35555-5326
205 555 4916

Geer,Iva N (Now let out da clutch.)
1061 Wrenn Road
Boaz, AL 35956-5652
256 555 1091

Olive,Iva (Now all ya need is gin &
8560 County Road 7 vermouth.)
Florence, AL 35633-5702
256 555 6163

White,Iva D (Den you move first, Honey.)
2nd Avenue
Hanceville, AL 35077-0000
256 555 6637

Allday,Ivan (Sucker!)
210 Gray Street
Linden, AL 36748-1812
334 555 0747

Bac,Killam (If 'e kills ya, . . .)
10 Ferry Street
Concord, NH 03301-5022
603 555 7000

Dung,Duc K
San Jose, CA 95139-0000
408 555 1133

271 Calvary Street
Waltham, MA 02154-8365
781 555 2198

7132 Fenway Drive
Westminster, CA 92683-3158
714 555 3498

El Sobrante,
CA 94803-0000
510 555 5762

Santa Monica,
CA 90401-0000
310 555 2281

2313 Johnston Street
Los Angeles, CA 90031-2720
323 555 0835

Dung,Ho (Make your garden grow.)
9127 Beechnut Street
Houston, TX 77036-6917
713 555 3430

4310 Elmwood Drive
Alexandria, VA 22310-1317
703 555 0052

11401 3rd Avenue Se
Everett, WA 98208-5500
425 555 9671

This’s gotta be the most serious Internet addiction there is.


(Phone numbers have been changed to protect the innocent. -Nick)

[Note: This message has been edited by Nickrz]

Bingbang T T W W…(303) 555-0026
3970 Greenbriar Blvd BOULDER CO 80303


Straight from USWESTDEX

Been in the Boulder phonebook for as long as I can remember.

Always wondered, never called.

“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.”
–Mark Twain

(Changed phone number prefix - Nick)

[Note: This message has been edited by Nickrz]

What exactly does that social security index pull up? I put a bunch of names of people and none came up. And these are real people.

My father’s middle name begins with F, and back when some professions were listed in the telephone book, his listing ended with “Fatty,” because he was an attorney, and “atty” was kerned too close to his middle initial. (He was actually very fit.)

Also, I recall reading somewhere about a police blotter item in a newspaper about a man named Fnu Mnu Lnu. Turns out this is the name that was listed in the original police report, but it was shorthand for “first name unknown, middle name unknown, last name unknown.”

With nearly 300 million people living in America, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few “Females” out there.

The oddest name I ever encountered was a Korean one. I worked for an insurance comnpany, one of hose clients was a psychiatrist named “Yoo-suck Kim”

How a man gets through life each day being called “Yoo-suck” is beyond me.

There is actually a gentleman in New York City named Fuk Yu. I want very much to date him, just so I can have the pleasure of introducing him at parties. Can you imagine what a horror his life became as the import of his named slowly dawned on him?

There are also two people in Chicago named Sharon Tate and Charles Manson–I very much hope someday they meet; perhaps a Very Special love story will result.

Are they real dead people who used to have SSNs?

Andrew Warinner