What's In A Name?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My father is a West Virginian, born and raised, and loves to tell hillbilly jokes.

There was this awful joke he told once, about how the new nurse for the County Extension Health Service was making the rounds to all the outlying hill communities, with informative pamphlets about disease, hygiene, and the many free services offered by the County. And she was talking about venereal disease at one point, when this woman raised her hand and said, “Could I hear a little bit more about this?”

The nurse, being a kindly and dedicated soul, proceeded to go on about VD at great length, as well as the services the county offered to deal with this dreadful scourge. Upon hearing her, the woman glanced at an informatory pamphlet, and asked for help pronouncing two words in particular.

The nurse, being aware that some medical terms can be a mouthful, said, “That one is gohn-a-REE-uh… and that one is SIH-full-iss.”

A year later, the nurse was making the rounds again, and returned to this particular community, and the woman to whom she’d spoken had given birth to twin girls, which she and her husband proudly showed the nurse… who made the mistake of adoring their baby beauty… and asking for their names.

Sure enough… Gonorrhea and Syphilis.

And I told you that awful joke so I could tell you this story.

First day of school, I’m lookin’ at my roster, and am a little flummoxed to find that one of my seventh graders has the first name of… Internet.

So I call her name. Internet. And she glances up. “Yes?”

“Your name is Internet?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s kind of an unusual name, isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “I’ve heard of a couple others.”

THAT sort of croggled me. There are multiple children out there named Internet? “So… how’d your mother come up with that name for a little girl?”

She shrugged again. “Because of the princess.”

This was starting to hurt my brain. “The princess?”

“Yeah, the princess,” said Internet. “You know, that French princess that wanted everybody to eat cake? Marie Internet?”

I swear, I can’t make this stuff up…

2

I have letters in my name. Sometimes, a period.

3

Dear Master Wang-Ka I wish I thought you had made this up.

4

(Thinks to himself)
Ahhh—another Wang-ka thread!..There’s no telling what it may be about, but it’s gonna be good,…so reach for the mouse, quickly…No, wait a minute, don’t open it up yet…wait a while, let the anticipation build…savor the moment…prepare for it…no, it’s no use, you can’t resist…click on it already, dammit.

So I did.
And , once again, Sir Ka, thanks for making my day. :slight_smile:

(But seriously, for a minute: if the story was true, it would be interesting to see how other 12 year old kids in the class react to a name like that…it’s just too ripe for teasing.)

5

One of the other kids was named Squinky. Another young lady was named Vakallakeesha.

Internet got no trouble at all. At least, not yet.

6

Yeesh. The most I can come up with is a boy whose parents named him Bradford Lee Bradley.

Yes, his name was Brad Bradley. :smack:

7

I student taught at a school in which one of the students had the last name Salt. Her first name was Pepper. Pepper Salt. Her teacher informed me that the girl’s father “had an…interesting…sense of humor”. I bet.

8

A Columbus Ohio, family named Gray named their daughter Scarlet Ann. College football fans will understand.

I went to college with siblings named 7 and 9, the numerals, not spelled out. Actually, it was their middle names but they both used the number as their names. They were the first and second born, so the names didn’t come from birth order.

9

There was a person from a nearby town whose name was ‘Ten Eight Kelley.’ Seems as thought I recall the name came from his supposed gestation period (ten months, eight days), but I wouldn’t swear to it.

10

I know a White family that named their daughter Snow.

11

I once worked with a Sienna Brown. As a painter.

12

My granddaughter’s first and middle names are Amber Jayde. Green Bay fans will get it.

13

When I was in elementary school, there was a girl in my class named Melody Medley. Her parents obviously that picked out as the perfect name before they found out they were having identical twins.

Her sister’s name was Melony.

14

Even worse-- his name was Brad Lee Bradley.

15

Other than the weird spelling of “Melony”, I’m missing the weird here.

16

I knew this guy in the Air Force whose name was Major Major Major. And he was a Major. So he was Major Major Major Major.

No wait. That’s from a book. Sorry.

17

Well “melody medley” is a thing, first of all. So it’s a cutesy name by itself. Their parents obviously couldn’t come up with another cutesy name to go with Medley, so they went with Melody and Melony. They rhyme. It’s like naming your twins Rod and Todd or Sasha and Tasha or Daisy and Maisy. Double cutesy.

And yes, that’s how they spelled Melony.

18

Any of your students named Orangejello and Lemonjello?

19

My Mom’s cousin was Russell Russell.

20

Years ago when I worked in a hospital, we had a maintenance man whose full name was Marvelous Marvin Morris. I used to tell him he shoud have been a WWE wrestler, he certainly had the name for it.