The twins that I grew up with were named Jack and Jill. Flaming orange hair and billions of freckles, and both homely as mud. But smart.
When I was stationed at Ft. Bliss in the early 80’s the commander of the hospital had the last name Major. He was a one star so Brigadier General Major. Had been a major earlier in his career so at one time Major Major.
I look at the stories my fellow Dopers have posted here, and I have to wonder about some of the parents out there. Spending one’s childhood catching flak about one’s name can have a deleterious effect on the adult one will become.
I’m still waiting to hear about girls named Chlamydia and Placenta.
One thing that grates on me is when someone names a daughter Porsche instead of Portia. Who names a kid after a car?
People who can’t spell, and people with a weird sense of what is valuable.
I am certain that before I retire, I will wind up teaching a child named Bling.
Well,…Shakespeare did.
But yeah, he did get the spelling wrong. I dunno why.
But then, who names a prince after a small village*?
*Hamlet… Get it? Huh? Well, did ya get it?
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I noticed the name tag on a server one time, and her name was Shampaine. I didn’t say anything.
On the other hand, I once saw a name tag on a woman named Sue. Except it was spelled “Sioux”.
But in her case, it was appropriate— she had Native American ancestry.
Still, I think it must have been a pain in the neck to live with a name that gets misspelled every single time.
Facebook checks out! They don’t look like I expected though.
I should add that my brother in law was a major. But with a last name like Jones, he always used his name or initials to differentiate himself. So he was known as:
Major C. A. Jones He looked forward to that promotion for a long time and his Spanish speaking friends were amused too.
I went to school with a brother and sister named Forest and Kelly. Last name Green.
I had two students one year who were Ahmed Ahmed and Mohammed Mohammed. This year’s favourite is Shaven Bonsangu.
Surly Chick’s story is proof that some people should not be allowed to reproduce.
Or at least they shouldn’t name their own children.
I knew a girl named Melanie once. She had enormous breasts. I thought her name was fitting.
I knew a girl named Jesse James.
I also went to college with a black girl named, “La Sonya”. However, she herself pronounced it like “Lasagna”.
My XO in the Navy was Commander Major.
Grade school had two sisters named Wood.
Holly and Myrtle.
Luckily, they were expected to take husband’s name when* they married.
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- at the time, there was no such option of “if” unless you wanted to become that most pathetic of creatures, an “old maid”.
Jill Hennessy, of Law & Order fame, has a twin sister who has occasionally filled in as her double. Her name is Jacqueline. The family apparently calls her Jacq.
One of my college friends once dated a young man named Adric. The name his parents had picked out in the event of getting a girl-child was Nyssa. I felt substantially less geeky by comparison. 
Lt. Dad used to work with Commander Darling.
On shore duty in Japan, one of the young petty officers at out base came into the PSD to update his dependent data so that his newborn baby would be covered by the military’s insurance. You see, the PO’s wife had just given birth in an emergency room in a civilian hospital in Japan and the wife was in a bit of a coma. I was the unlucky sod to help this particular PO update his record. When I asked him the child’s name, he said, “Rat”. I wasn’t sure I heard him correctly, maybe he gave the kid a Japanese name and I just didn’t catch the whole thing. Nope. Rat. R-A-T. When I asked him if he was sure, he said, “Yeah. That was my nickname in school.” About a week later, same petty officer came into the PSD to change the dependent’s data. You guessed it: name correction. The wife came out of the coma and was none too happy with her husband’s child naming skills.
I had a First Sergeant in the USAR named Major.