Mount St. Mary’s Univ. President: Students Not Cuddly Bunnies. You Just Have to Drown the Bunnies.

Well at least these professors weren’t getting fired for disputing esoteric points of Catholic doctrine.

I’m an atheist, not a Catholic, but I just want to say that I am firmly against drowning bunnies.

Unless, you know, the bunny was a real dick or something.

Or if the bunny has nasty, big, pointy teeth…

[Makes fangs with his fingers and holds them in front of his mouth]

I would imagine that the tenured profs will have a cause of action against the uni.

Maybe the protesting professors could get Jerry Seinfeld to agree to be the official “face” of their protest.

"NEWMAN!!!"

“I can still tend the rabbits, George? I didn’t mean no harm, George."

nm

Um, what?

Kill the wabbit!

Elmer: I’m going to kill the wabbit!

Bugs: O mighty warrior, 'twill be quite a task
How will you do it, might I inquire to ask?

E: I will do it with my Gwock and Magic Dwowning Pool

B: Gwock and Magic Dwowning Pool?

E: Gwock and Magic Dwowning Pool.

B: Gwock?

E: Gwock!

B (spoken, disparagingly): Gwock.

E: Yes, Gwock, and I’ll give you a sample!
(exit Bugs at warp speed)

E (spoken): That was the wabbit!

Liberties taken. Lyrics quoted from here: http://web.mit.edu/minidev/lib/opera

If the President wanted to know which students would not have succeeded, he could have used their grades as a sign. To use one of my favorite lines from Cuckoo’s Nest:
“All he had to do was wait.”

They put a corporate goon in charge of the school and were surprised when he ran it like a for-profit corporation?

Unbelievably, it’s actually even worse than this summary implies: the incoming freshmen were given a survey that attempted to identify students suffering from issues such as depression or poor self-image, and told there were no wrong answers. Unbeknownst to the students, Newman then used the survey results to identify students who should be “encouraged” to drop out early because they were unlikely to succeed (if they withdrew before a certain date, they didn’t count in the university’s retention figures). To the best of my knowledge, these were not necessarily students who were actually doing poorly in their classes; it was all based on a deceitful attempt at amateur psychological profiling.

That parenthetical explanation makes it sound like a case of straight-up fraud in addition to everything else.

It’s not fraud per se. The Department of Education doesn’t care about your retention figures for students that don’t pay tuition (and the school was going to refund tuition for any student who dropped out under the program). It’s fucking evil to take a psychological survey like that and not keep the results a secret, though.

There’s General Woundwort.

I saw this in the Post today and thought WTF? The president sounds like a spiteful dick.

What’s the Catholic doctrine reference? Is that Wheaton (which is not Catholic) or a news story I missed?

Wheaton.

Mount St. Mary’s actions make a mockery of tenure. The whole point of tenure to give professors the freedom to speak their minds without fear of retaliation. Firing tenured faculty for “disloyalty” is completely contrary to the intellectual mission of the university.

(My wife is a tenured professor at UCLA and a signatory of the petition mentioned by the OP.)

Per the article, waiting would mean he couldn’t disenroll the students before the deadline to count them as enrolled in the first place. The entire point of the exercise was to make his retention v. dropout rate look better.