Move over, Esprix--There's a new one-trick pony in town!

The BBQ Pit
1

I think we’ve already established to most Dopers’ satisfaction that Sea Sorbust is bonkers. He also, as it happens, has a little bit of a one-track mind.

His, er, unique ideas about asteroids and Mars first popped up in one of the moon hoax threads. He also started his own thread on it once.

Today, he turns a thread on the destructiveness of a full nuclear exchange into a thread on defending Earth against asteroids and on going to Mars. Maaaaybe a legitimate hijack, but the way it comes about . . .

Also today, he drops the asteroid thing into a Dale Earnhardt rant. Ok . . .

I’ve seen him suddenly veer into this topic in other threads around the board, too. He’s turning into another dal timgar, with his “ECONOMIC WARGAMES.” Of course, he’s also wanted to outlaw the Big Bang theory, and made some interesting claims about Florida

First off, if you’re that concerned about an asteroid impact, dig yourself a deep hole, pull the lid over it, and we’ll give you the “all clear” sign when the danger has passed. Second of all, go sell crazy somewhere else; we’re all full.

2

[National Lampoon’s Vacation]

“You got asteroids?”

“Naww…but my dad does…can’t even sit on the toilet some days”

[/Vacation]

3

hmmmm… aster roids.

::sounds of two gears creaking::

isn’t aster a color?

4

How about his sig, which is longer than a Supreme Court decision, but not as easy to read?

Actually, I kinda like the guy. He’s got more loops than a Six Flags amusement park, but he seems mostly harmless.

5

If an asteroid hits the Earth, at least we could that the one remaing dinosaur would go extinct (hint: he’s purple).

Also, before someone else posts the obvious joke:

6

Could hope that he would go extinct, I mean.

And yes, it is Barney.

7

I’m not sure Esprix would like your characterization of him as a one-trick pony. I mean, you should’ve seen the nametags he made for us for the L.A. OctDoper Fest. He’s at least a two-trick pony.

8

pldennison, shame on you. You obviously don’t understand Super String Theory, or you wouldn’t be critisizing him.

Or maybe you would.

Scary mental game: Imagine Sea Sorbust debating Hiryu on the nature of the Universe.

9

Neigh, I say. Neigh.

Esprix

10

of course, you realize he is right about this…(ah fuck it, immortality gets boring after a while, anyway)

11

I can top that! Imagine Sea, Hiryu, Seethruart and JACK DEAN TYLER! having a conversation.

Sea: Asteroids will destroy the world!
Seethruart: Here’s pictures of an alien civilization on the moon that was destroyed through asteroid impact. Only a few moonmen survived
Jack Dean Tyler: Are they circumcised?
Seethruart: I dunno. If you hold the picture so the light of the moon refracts off of the negative pixel increases and look at the magnifying glass this way…hmmm…I’d say: Yes. The moon-men ARE circumcised.
Jack Dean Tyler: <darkly, but with triumphant overtones> I knew it!
Sea: Guys…we’re talking a potential extinction-level event here. Can we stop talking about alien pee-pees?
Hiryu: PeePees are found in the Golden Spiral of Love.
<Sea, Jack and Seethruart stare blankly at Hiryu>
Hiryu: No. Really! I can prove it! It’s summed up in the equation (3[sup]7897[/sup]*h74/qqwertyup)+love. Don’t you SEE??
Jack Dean Tyler: You were circumcised late in life, weren’t you?

Thus concludes the first annual meeting of the SDMB…um…unique sciences club.

Fenris, your roving reporter.

12

Isn’t he listed at Crank Dot Net?

Oh no wait-that’s Seethruart. Never mind.

13

I always picture Sea Sorbust as walking around with one of those tiny little umbrellas above his head, hoping that it will protect against large falling objects, a la Wile E. Coyote. I also envision him as communicating entirely through hand-held signs in real life.

14

I’m rather confident Esprix can assure us that the pony in question has turned more than one trick.

15

Nope, only one… at Dopetoberfest. :wink:

Esprix

16

Ha ha! I’m listed at crank.net! Unfortunately, I see they’ve downgraded me from the coveted “Crankiest” rating to “Parody.”

17

::hands on hips::

Well, be that way!!!

18

Now that, see, was funny.

19

Hmmm…looking at the OP makes me wonder just how many dopers have no tricks at all.

Not every Doper could keep a series of threads running with informative and interesting replies as Esprix has done in his Ask The Gay Guy Threads.

Pld I hope you and Esprix have an understanding, I’d just hate to have to think you were being obnoxious.

20

Well, what Miller said. Yeah, he’s got a lot of loops, but at least he’s polite, he doesn’t seem to have a particular agenda, other than really, really enjoying certain aspects of the conspiracy theory/paranormal axis (and he is not alone in this, may I point out–let he who does not enjoy a private romp through Art Bell’s website cast the first stone), and he seems to have a sense of humor, all of which is more than you can say about some of our other topic-obsessive types, like JDT.