Occasionally people hereabouts wonder if there are any famous persons among the Teeming Millions. Usually the consensus is “We’ll never know.”
But imagine we could. Imagine if a star mentioned on The Tonight Show that he does post hereabouts from time to time, even mentioning his screen name. What stars would fit in well? Who would be the target of endless pittings?
My own nominations:
Best: John Stewart.
Worst: Tom Cruise.
Anybody else?
I’ve long suspected Alton Brown and the Mythbusters guys (besides the one on the support staff that we know about, of course) are Dopers. If not, they all should be.
Best : Weird Al Yankovic
Worst: John Stossel
GOOD
Weird Al
Andy Partridge (XTC)
William Shatner
Drew Carey
BAD
Hilton, Spears, and the like
Bush - Cheney
Limbaugh, O’Reilly, Beck, and similar righties
UNDECIDED
Michael Moore, Huffington, and similar lefties
Spears might be amusing. I seriously doubt she can use a computer and she’d probably dictate her posts to her personal assistant, who would probably hate her, and so would intersperse amusing parenthetical comments the former Mrs. Federline would not uderstand because of the tri-syallabic nature of their words.
Best: Alan Alda
Great potential Dopers:
Mike Nelson
Anthony Bourdain
P.J. O’Rourke
Armistead Maupin
Poor Doper candidates:
Dr. Laura
James Frey
Jon Edwards
Sylvia Browne
Kevin Trudeau
Terrifying Doper:
Florence King
Dave Barry!!!
If Ann Coulter touched this board it would probably collapse into a black hole. I’d quite like to see the cast of Torchwood here, if only to defend some of their lame acting.
I actually disagree with Jon Stewart and William Shatner. I like them both, but I don’t think they’d like it here.
Margaret Cho would love it here.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, despite the deluge of South Park fans, would hate it here.
I have a small suspicion that Max Brooks is a doper—little elements from his books. Things he said. No way of proving it, of course. And I wouldn’t want him “outted” if he didn’t want to.
Anyway…TV Tropes comes to the rescue, once again, under the listing for “Bunny Ears Lawyer,” subsection “Truth in Television.” Mostly under the scientists. Paul Erdos jumps out of the page, particularly. Though some of the others strike me as the sort of guys who’d end up getting banned, eventually, although people’d say for years later about how they kinda missed 'em.
Wil Wheaton would fit right in.
Christopher Walken would fit in here very well.
Best: Martin Gardner, Terry Pratchett
Worst: my top choices (John Edward, Sylvia Browne, and Ann Coulter) were all mentioned above. I really don’t think Michael Moore would fit in but I wouldn’t rank him among the very worst either.
He’s ineligible. You might say his number came up.
How about Drew Barrymore?
I think William Hague would make an excellent Doper, as would Antony Wedgewood-Benn.
Ah, but the OP did not, specifically say that dead people weren’t allowed. A reasonable person might have inferred it, and perhaps even should have. But it wasn’t, technically, on the books. 
Good–Bill Cosby
Bad–Karl Rove (I don’t think he would approve of the concept of “cite?”)
Quite a few comedians might be interesting additions,
Margaret Cho was already mentioned, although her debating skills are occasionally crippled by drugs/alcohol we know shes willing to fight the good fight.
George Carlin might be an interesting addition as well as Chris Rock.
Penn & Teller
Criss Angel
Hardly mainstream celebs but I would love to see the likes of James Randi, and or Michael Shermer here. Wouldn’t shock me to hear either or both have at least cruised the place a time or two.
I would actually love to see some of the other side of the fence here too…bring out the Phelps clan, Coulter, Nancy Grace, or Sylvia Browne. Tell me it wouldn’t be fabulous to watch a selection or two from either side of this list crossing swords in GD.
I dunno about James Randi. I respect him, but he seems like kind of a jerk sometimes.
Mark Hamill would be great. And Bruce Timm and Paul Dini. Frank Miller or Rob Liefield would get themselves banned so fast.
I’d like to see Kevin Smith or Warren Ellis. Heh, could you imagine a pitting from Mr. Ellis? It’d be the most lyrical bit of swearing ever.
Actually, there are quite a few libertarians around…I think he’d be fine.
Just once, I’d love for Fred Phelps to start a thread…the trainwreck would be spectacular.