If you do, then the irritating-assed ad execs have already won.
When that damnned mitt sings “volarè”, I always think of that same song being sung in “Man on the Moon” by Tony Clifton.
It’s horrid.
Ah, but those of us who grew up driving a 1977 Plymouth Volare are inspired to eat more and more Arby’s.
It’s not really his fault but I always felt bad about the way they exploited that poor birds condition to sell Cocoa Puffs.
I kind of like the oven-mitt commercial where the hot broiler pan is resting on his forehead. While he wriggles and screams in agony, I enjoy imagining the hot metal searing into his padded skull, and slowly burning off his flesh, or whatever the fuck a sentient, ambulatory oven mitt would have in the place of flesh. Asbestos, maybe.
Hey, waitaminnit. Asbestos? Somebody call OSHA, or the EPA, or somebody. The restaurant’s own goddamn mascot makes the place a Superfund site.
Not that the food wouldn’t already, but I’m just sayin’…
Yeah, well some people think al dente means the way they cook it at Denny’s. :rolleyes:
The mitt screams out at getting a hot pan placed on it. Isn’t the job of an oven mitt to shield your hand from hot pots and pans?
I love the Arby’s oven mitt. I really LOVE the oven mitt and I want the oven mitt to love me. I want it to give me sweet roast beef kisses. Mmm… roast beef kisses.
Doesn’t the mitt say, “Get it off! It’s heavy!” (as opposed to hot).
There is one of those oven mitt commercials that shows the mitt hanging from a hook on the wall. That commercial bugs the shit out of me because the loop that he is hanging from is attached to one of the fingers. When has an oven mitt ever been made that way? The loop is always at the wrist end! It is stupid to have that loop on a finger! It will get in the way and getting hooked on things and probably cause you to drop hot pans of meat! The loop belongs in the other end. Of course, that would mean the fucker would have to hang upside down, but I DON’T CARE! Fuck 'im I say!
Think about this: Wouldn’t putting your hand inside The Oven Mitt to, like, actually use it be like putting your hand up someone’s ass? (A moment of insight from my roommate.)
And while, yes, this oven mitt is one of the most annoying ad gimmicks out there, I stress the word one, as I have found another, equally-- nay, more–annoying “gimmick:”
The lady in the Michelina’s commercial singing that horrible spoof of the Macarena. Oh Sweet Moses Malone is that horrible.
The Arby’s Mitt singing “Volare” makes my ears throb, but this broad singing “Heeeyyy Michelina’s” makes me want to chew my farkin’ thumbs off.
Happy
I love Arby’s yet loathe the mitt. I find myself wondering if he hates not having fingers, then I remind myself he’s lived his whole life with just the thumb and fused finger area, so how could it bug him? And then I realize I’m speculating on the inner life of an oven mitt, and I feel gravely disturbed.
But honestly, I have these thoughts almost EVERY time I see the ads.
I’ll bet you didn’t know that the Noid met his end by being baked alive in an oven on air, possibly during the Superbowl. At least, that is the position I’m maintaining until proven otherwise.
Perhaps this oven mitt creature will die horribly as well. It looks like it deserves it. I’m sure there’s a special place in hell reserved for it, right next to the Microsoft Office paperclip.
What I think is funny is that Arby’s previous motto was “For Your Grown Up Tastes”. Now, I’m not the smartest man alive, but singing, dancing oven mitts do not strike me as being the most representative example of “grown up”.
Every time I see the mitt, I have to wonder “Why not a cowboy hat?” I live a block away from a frigging twenty foot tall neon sign for Arby’s, and the Arby’s = cowboy hat meme has been burned into my pattern-recognition zone for over a decade.
But no. We get the mitt. The mitt, which looks vaguely enough like the stylized hat on the sign that people will look at it and say, “Oh yeah, that’s an oven mitt!” instead of realizing that it’s a goddamned hat!
But how can you advertize an anthropomorphic cowboy hat? It has no place in the Arby’s kitchen. It could be worn around the workplace, making witty comments with Johnny Cash’s voice, but then people might think that it was controlling the wearer like some kind of brain parasite, directing them to work at Arby’s for a lifetime of servitude in the au jus pits. That would creep people out. And if a hat was simply lying around on the counter-top, people might get to thinking that the hat belonged to someone. Someone who was now roaming hatless in the kitchen, spreading loose hair, dandruff, and other bodily detritus into the deli slicer. That will not do. So, we get the mitt.
[Throwaway joke]
[Oven Mitt]
Roast beef keese-es for my astro!
[/Oven Mitt][/Throwaway joke]
Anybody know if this campaign is done by the folks who came up with the four fingered hand for the “Hamburger Helper” ads? That was the first thing I thought of when I saw the spots.
I am beginning to think that all the good ideas for commercials have been used up, because i am about ready to take a flamethrower to the mitt.
Tampon commercails are also goddamn goofy since a theme of 'celebrating menstruation" seems to run through the background. Where do they find all of these perky people for commercials, obviously mass quantities of drugs are being used here.
How come no one has mentioned the damn angry gumball from Extra Sugar Free gum commercials.
Oh god, I FREAKING HATE THAT DAMN GUMBALL.
Thanks, hockey, you just wrecked four sessions of hypnosis therapy. 