movie cliches and a good next line

Cafe Society
1

Couldn’t think of a better way to describe in the title, but thought we could try a couple of hackneyed movie lines, and then what the next line oughta be if straight dopers were writing the scripts.

Examples…

*“It’s quiet. TOO quiet”. *

<bird whistles> “Okay, whew. That’s the appropriate level of quiet, thanks.”
“Look what the cat dragged in.”

“I think it’s a dead possum or raccoon or something, it’s hard to tell. Yuck. Anyway, what are you doing here?”
“That plan’s crazy enough it might just work.”

“What if I put little beanie propellers on everybody’s head and smeared jello on them? Would that make it even crazier thus improving the odds?”
*“I don’t want to hear it, you’re off the case.” *

“But you won’t mind if I spend the next several days working it anyway, right Chief?”

2

“Now, where were we?”
“Boise, Idaho”
“Is that all you got?”
“No, can you break a twenty?”
" Save yourself! Leave me here!"
“I’ll call”
How about a double cliche…
“Don’t you die on me!”
“I don’t take orders from you!”

3

“Let’s get out of here!”
Are you kidding? Things are just getting exciting.

4

“Back off, the captain needs to handle this himself” [as he gets his ass kicked by some goon]
“NO HE DOESN’T!”
“Oh!” [shoots goon]
-Firefly

5

“You’ll have to kill me first.”
BANG!

“I’ve figured out your nefarious scheme.”
BANG!

“Is that all you got? Huh? Is that the best you can do?”
BANG!

6

[looking in rearview mirror] “We’ve got company!”
“I’ll put on a pot of tea.”

7

“You!!!”
“Who else would I be?”

“You!!!”
“Last time I checked.”

“You!!!”
“Me?”

“You!!!”
“Don’t sound so disappointed.”

“You!!!”
“No, I’m just visiting. <points to someone else>Him.”

8

These all sound like *Dr. House *responses.

9

“I’m not telling you a thing. Do your worst.”
“Okey-dokey!”

10

“I’ve got stupendous news. Are you sitting down?”
Of course I am, you dipshit. I’m driving.

“Who do you think you are?”
JohnT

“Where were you last Tuesday night, around 9?”
Killing the victim. And you?

11

“That was very foolish, Mr. Bond.”
“Who you callin’ a fool sucka?”

Any film where the military group is receiving enemy fire:
“On my command…go, Go, GO!”
“O.K., sheesh you only have to say it once.”

12

I’ll do my best.

13

For an older cliche:

“He tampered in God’s Domain.”

“Screw God, assuming there is one. I wanna be an atomic superman too! Fire up that lightning doohickey, Doc!”

14

“Look at her. Those legs go all the way up.”

What, so, like… they’re attached to her ass? Because, that’s generally where I see legs connect. Do you know a bunch of women whose legs go up 2/3 of the way and then the rest is floating in midair?

15

“Tell Judy…tell her I love her.”
Do I tell her that before I have sex with her or afterward?
“You can run to the four corners of the earth, hide under any rock, but rest assured I will find you.”
Got a specific date and time for me to pencil you in, or is your planning always this nebulous?
or
Really? You should be an antiques collector. They’ve got plenty of room for people with your skills.
or
It’s a good thing I don’t believe in ghosts. (BANG)
“You’ll never get away with this.”
You know, it’s just possible that this negative, “can’t-do-it” attitude of yours may be the reason why you’re tied up in my lair in the first place.

16

More book than movie, but you know the scene in a mystery where the protag rules out someone as a suspect because, “Either she’s innocent, or a professional actor”? Well, just for once I’d like to have her turn out to be a professional actor.

17

“Oh, yeah? You and what army?”

“The Bolivian Army, Mr. Cassidy.”