XXXcalibur
Two upper-crust English gentlemen enter into a bet to determine whether or not one, a linguist, can pass off a freighter pilot as a proper society lady. Then they land on a desolate planet to investigate an ancient derelict spacecraft full of mysterious “eggs”…
Baffled indeed.
Um, An American Werewolf in London Story?
(I know there’s some conspiracy in London Story, though I couldn’t tell ya what kind.)
Pygmalien! 
A man with amnesia discovers he is a professional assassin. His mission: returning a young lioness to the wild.
Bourne Free Identity?
A woman whose habit it is to love one boxer per season finds herself torn between an angry boxer and his young protege.
Close, but no cee-gar.
Hmm… An American Werewolf in London Calling? (That is a documentary, right?)
A womanizing Czech doctor falls in love with a country girl while still involved with his mistress. Soviet tanks arrive in Prague and the doctor takes on a job in an office with very, very, very, very low ceilings that has a mysterious, little, hidden door…
The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich
(I notice you didn’t manage to put the latter title first!
Okay, fine!
An unemployed puppeteer goes through a tiny little hidden door where he takes control of a legal assistant’s body and brings down a California power company for polluting a small town’s water supply.
Better?
That would be Being Erin Brokovich
The Kwizatz Haderach and his buddy Stilgar wake up after a hard night of partying with no memory of the evening’s festivites…or where they parked. Hilarity ensues.
Assassin wakes from a coma to discover double-o prefix has been revoked, but sets out to assassinate pair of time travelling teenagers that fed her best friend to the sharks.
…Dune Where’s My Car?
License To Kill Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Two brothers find a bag of money which leads to an alien plot to reanimate the dead from cheesy flying saucers.
A Simple Plan 9 From Outer Space
‘A woman whose habit it is to love one boxer per season finds herself torn between an angry boxer and his young protege.’
Raging Bull Durham
A brilliant but mentally ill mathematician tries to convince his son that the Holcoaust is not really happening by acting really goofy.
Life Is A Beautiful Mind
LIFE IS A BEAUTIFUL MIND
Sandra Bullock comes out of rehab to find civilization destroyed by rabid zombies.
Doesn’t even require a title change L
Tom Hanks’s son Colin has to have his slacker brother psychologically reprogrammed to stop sabotaging his attempts to enter college.
A Clockwork Orange County
A horribly deformed barber in Victorian England blackmails his wife’s boss to open a dry-cleaning business.
The Elephant Man Who Wasn’t There
Yul Brynner recovers his throne with the aid of a British governess, dwarves, elves and a wizard only to find that an artificially intelligent life-form has committed a murder.
28 Days Later (not only doesn’t require a name change, but playing a zombie doesn’t require any additional acting for Sandra)
This one’s convoluted: Marlee Matlin plays a refugee-from-a-school-for-the-deaf turned preacher who arrives in Nebraska and convinces the children to form their own mafia family headed by Al Pacino.