Last night, I was at Best Buy (yeah, I know, but it was either that or accompany my wife into Linens 'n Things), and I found a DVD copy of Car Wash, the 1976 film about a day in the life of an LA car wash. It has no redeeming qualities at all, unless disco music, 70s fashions, and corny running jokes are considered redeeming. But I remember seeing it a few times years ago, and laughing like anything at the comedy.
So I bought it. And, I’m glad to say, it still makes me laugh.
But I got to wondering–what other films, that would never be considered for any award, much less be labelled “motion picture events of significance,” did I like? I looked at our DVD shelves.
Well, there is Detroit Rock City, the story of a group of kids trying to get to a KISS concert. And Joe Dirt and PCU, both with David Spade.
We often discuss important, memorable films here that win awards, critical acclaim, and do well at the box office. But it’s time to admit our guilty pleasures. What films not in that category are you embarrassed to admit that you like?
Armageddon. This movie gets a bad rap, and deserves most of what it gets, but it’s still fun. For even more fun, turn on the commentary by actual NASA scientists.
Porky’s 2- Juvenile tits’n’farts movie, but the Rev. Bubba Flavel and Coach Balbricker’s reading of Taming of the Shrew will make me stop channel surfing whenever I see it.
Sgt. Bilko is one of my all time favorite spirit lifters. Every time I have had a bad day or am down in the dumps I pop that sucker in and suddenly the world is a much brighter place. Pointless juvenile comedy at its best.
Red Dawn. Totally ridiculous premise, but it carries on reasonably well from then on.
Although it may be best enjoyed with a group of friends who are willing to make a drinking game out of the “Wolverines!” catchphrase…
Porky’s - Just for the exchange in the principal’s office.
*Coach Brakett: Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have ‘em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up “Wanted” posters all over school…"Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls’ locker room at Angel Beach High School." *
Up the Creek - Rip-off of Porky’s and Animal House, starring folks from each. One of my all time guilty pleasures.
Hudson Hawk. Nearly everyone [who’s seen it, which is hardly anyone] says it’s terrible, but I find it highly entertaining. My husband likes it, too. That’s how I knew he was The One.
I recently apologized (ok, not really) for my love of Reality Bites. I know, it’s self-obsessed whining by entitled Gen Xers. Sue me.
I also, and this is totally out of character for me, really like American Pie and its sequels. They get less appealing the more sequels are made, but 1 and 2 are really good. In a bad way. Or is that bad in a good way? I hate Porkey’s, Bachelor Party, Animal House and all that juvenile crap that it’s supposed to be a reinvention of, but for some reason AP just works for me.
Some Kind of Wonderful. I’m not sure it’s crap, but it’s not fine cinema.
Howard the Duck. There. I said it. Stop looking at me like that.
And, high on the schmaltzmeter, though I don’t think they’re “crap” exactly, are Steel Magnolias and Pretty Woman. They’re chocolate for the eyes - sweet and bad for you, with feel good brain hormone enhancing goodness.
I second Detroit Rock City. It’s one of the 12 movies I brought to college with me, and is sitting on the shelf directly above my computer right now. A lot of the movie is stupid, but I love the rock n roll vs. disco theme.
Another one for me would be Waterworld. I could write an essay about how stupid this movie is - if the ice caps melted, the water wouldn’t even come close to covering the entire earth, where’d they get the cigarettes and oil, etc. - without even mentioning the horrible dialogue. But I love the cool sets, action scenes, and the whole general idea of humans trying to survive with the whole earth covered with water, forgetting their past and all. I also own this one, but don’t like it enough/was too embarrassed to bring it with me to college.
My husband and I love the silly but somehow charming Airplane-Naked Gun-Top Secret-type movies. There’s always some background stuff we didn’t catch the first or fifth time.
Edited because it’s Airplane, not Airport, which is also entertaining but on a different level.
Holy crap - my list go go on for days, but here’s some that immediately come to mind:
Reckless. Daryl Hannah, Aidan Quinn, Adam Baldwin. Rebel without a Clue meets Romeo & Juliet in a depressed steel-mill town in the early 80s. The movie spoke to me for some strange reason, probably due to the time and setting. The soundtrack, which I do not believe was ever released, absolutely rocks. Romeo Void, Kim Wilde, Bob Segar, INXS, and a few other greats of the time.
Streets of Fire. A Rock & Roll Fable, in Another Time, and Another Place. A young, bad ass Willem Dafoe (bad guy) goes up against a very bad ass (good guy) Michael Pare, who comes back to town to rescue an old flame, played by a very hot Diane Lane. This movie oozes cheesiness, but it’s visually entertaining and has a decent soundtrack.
To Live and Die in L.A.. One of our first glimpses of William Petersen. He plays a corrupt Secret Service Agent going up against a ruthless counterfeiter played by (surprise!) Willem Dafoe. This movie stays true to its dark side, from beginning to end. Hard to tell the good guys from the bad.
Manhunter. Another early William Petersen movie, shot in the classic Michael Mann style. It’s the first time we see the twisted Hannibal Lecktor. The moment where Will figures out how the killer chooses his victims, right after the argument with Jack, is one of my favorite movie scenes ever. Why? I have no idea. It just rocks.
I must object to the inclusion of Porky’s and Porky’s 2 on any list of “crap” movies. For the type, they are both quite well done and actually take on serious issues (racism, anti-Semitism, censorship, corruption in government and religion) with a measure of depth. Plus the importance of including full-frontal male nudity to a horny teenage gay boy cannot be overstated.
And while I also wouldn’t categorize them as “crap,” I like many of the dopey films that came out in a wave roughly concurrently with American Pie: Dude, Where’s My Car?; Bring It On; Sugar and Spice; Get Over It and the like.
One that everyone else I know who’s seen it thinks is terrible but that I enjoy quite a bit is The January Man with Kevin Kline and Susan Sarandon. Any film that has Danny Aiello screaming “you dilletante fuck!” can’t be all bad. I try to work that one into conversation but it’s surprisingly difficult.
Oooh, I’ve got loads of theses. My all-time fave in this category has to be…
**
Point Break
**
It’s got Garey Busey and Keanu Reeves who is much worse than normal, it seems. Plus there are surfers who wear masks like presidents who fund their endless summer by robbing banks.
Armageddon is a good one.
Let’s not forget COMMANDO. Arnold jumps about 200 feet from an airplane into some kind of marsh and it doesn’t even phase him! It’s chock full of lame 80’s one liners of how tough he is. Finally, the character’s name is John Matrix. That’s a made-up surname! But I’m not sure if this one qualifies because it is generally considered good because of these things.
