Movies that should never, ever be made

Couch Potato - A ‘B’ (did I say ‘B’? I mean ‘Q’) movie that involves an evil spud that hides in couches waiting to eat innocent people about to watch TV (or possible Horny Teenagers, it is, after all, a killer monster movie).

Sisyphus - Will he ever get the boulder to the top of the hill!? Two hours later… nope. (On that note, Tantalus probably wouldn’t be too entertaining either)

Any others? (It can be boring, terrible, too hard, whatever)

That kinda reminds me of Death Bed: The Bed that Eats People.

My contribution: Super Hacker: It’s about a renegade bank employee who subtly alters a mainframe batch job to make millions of tiny deposits into a secret account. Not only is there a riveting two hours of Super Hacker writing, testing, and debugging his code (which is in COBOL, of course), but there’s an entire sequel which covers all the forensic accounting.

Except for the whole “the entire thing is coding” part, I think there was a plot in SOMETHING once that followed the microdeposit idea. I don’t remember exactly what happened but it was about some bank employee who “stole” money by taking (infinitesimal values of) money that was shaved off by the computer’s rounding into the bank from things like exchange rated deposits from a foreign currency and made himself millions from the sheer volume of it. Granted no one ever explained how, exactly, his account which was otherwise typical didn’t just round the microdeposits to 0 before they accumulated.

How about : Sisyphus vs Tantalus ?

Every remake in history, except for The Maltese Falcon and Heat. There is a special place in hell for all of the people who re-made Neil Simon’s The Heartbreak Kid in 2007 with Ben Stiller - turning a very clever and profound film about unfulfillment, foolhardy desire and short-sightedness into yet another piece of Stiller trash. Christ, is that guy a hack of the lowest order.

It was a plot device in Office Space. I’m fairly sure it’s been used elsewhere as well.

Of course, Office Space was more interesting than two hours of COBOL coding :wink:

But not by enough to matter.

And Richard Pryor did it in Superman III, which may have been less interesting than two hours of COBOL coding.

A movie about mining.

Not about miners, or the mining industry, but about big drills that cut into rock.

Worthwhile Canadian Initiative - the Movie

Cthulhu : The Colonoscopy; a Be Eaten First Production. Behold your destiny !

Doctor Tongue’s 3D House of Parliament

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.

Oh wait…they actually made that one.