Hi All. I am new to this so bare with me. I am 24 have a husband and an almost two year old daughter. We currently live in a small town in Michigan where we have been our whole lives. We live within our means driving rust buckets and living in a mediocre house. We struggle financially every day. My husband works second shift six days a week just to make ends meet and is never home with us. My father(didn’t have a relationship with him growing up.) lives in Washington state with his wife. My husband and I have been discussing moving there. Not necessarily to be close to them, but because we want a better life. We know the job opportunities are a lot better for my husband and want to give my daughter a better life. Not to mention we want me to be able to stay home and raise our children(not possible right now.) On the other hand we have a wonderful support system in Mi. My family(especially my mom) is really close with my daughter. She has stated she will never speak to me again or want to see us if we move there. I feel so torn!! 
Do I stay here and be unhappy and struggle or should I try something new? Am I being selfish?
This, right here, is completely unreasonable. I’m sure she’s a lovely person in all other respects, but I would be tempted to move just to call her bluff. She cannot threaten you into sacrificing your own family in order to suit her convenience.
I second this.
You have perfectly valid reasons for moving - better job opportunities & improved quality of life for your daughter. Don’t let your mother tether you to someplace you don’t want to be. It will only lead to resentment.
Not that it changes anything but remember this is tough times for lots of people right now. That is what my boss tells me a lot. So any steps you can take to better yourself you need to do. Like, in times like these everyone should take whatever chance they can get and be glad they got it.
See how those two statements contradict each other? Your support system doesn’t sound quite so wonderful. She’s using emotional blackmail on you, and that is never ever okay. I’m wondering if your family there might be holding you back in other subtle ways that you don’t realize.
It would be selfish of you not to take your extended family’s needs and feelings into consideration, but it sounds like you’re already doing that. Your first priorites are to do the best you can for your daughter, your husband, and yourself, so that has to prevail. You are NOT being selfish. I’m all for staying rooted to one spot, but sometimes, you just gotta get out of Dodge.
You know, there have been a couple of times I’ve asked my mom for advice, and she’s said “you’re not asking for advice here. You’re asking for permission.” I suspect that’s going on here too. So…
GO WEST, YOUNG WOMAN!
Good luck and let us know what happens. 
Good Lord yes, please take the advice above. If I could go back in time twenty years ago and set the proper boundaries with my mother then, I wouldn’t still be having non-stop issues with her now at 46.
Do either you or hubby have job offers in hand? If not, why the certainty of a better life?
My instinct is MOVE.
Of course, that may be because that is what I did - I am 2000+ miles from where I was raised, and have never regretted leaving.
One thing: before age 30, moving is easy. About 30, we secrete a glue and tend to stay where we are - be who, what, and where you want to be by 30.
p.s. It’s “bear with me”. Although “bare with me” is certainly an interesting prospect…
OK, I’m going to speak from a grandmother’s perspective here, and whilst I would NEVER threaten to excommunicate my family if they moved across country, I’m going to give you my two-bob’s worth anyway.
You are going to be moving with NO guarantees of a job or a net increase in your standard of living. You are going to be moving to an area where you have no family support (let’s assume your dad isn’t going to suddenly go all paternal on you, for the sake of this discussion). What happens when the inevitable shit hits the fan? Who are you going to turn to when your husband is without a job, and you’re scraping the bottom of the financial barrel?
'Cos lets face it, where you are you HAVE work, transport and a roof over your head. Yes, it might be ‘mediocre’ but fuck…how many people would give their right arm to be in your position?
And in the meantime, your little girl who has a wonderful relationship with her Nana has been uprooted and wonders why all the drama is happening?
Please take time to think this through. :dubious:
Visit your Dad maybe. Check out housing, ask about job prospects, reconnect with your Dad a little and get his opinion on the idea.
That’s what I would do first. If need be, you could always present this to your Mom as, “We’re going to give this a try, we may be back!” Point out now, while your family is young, is your time to try, you feel. Refuse to expand further and stand firm against any Mommy extortion attempts with a smile!
This is exactly what jumped out at me when I read the OP. Extended family and support systems are important, but yours may not be as supportive as you think.
That said, if you’ve never been close to your father, you might want to consider other possible places to move to. Yeah, move to Washington state if that really is where you’d have the best opportunity of a good job and a good life, but don’t limit yourself to that as the only alternative if there are other places where you’d have even better opportunities.