I would have stopped my end of the conversation. Just sit down and eat. Don’t look at her, don’t respond. There is no requirement to be polite to a jerk.
I have no idea why you considered this to be something you did wrong.
Tomorrow bring her a plate with a pile of dogshit on it, and offer it to her.
When she refuses, insist, and when she refuses again, continue to insist. Don’t let it slide.
This is how children have to learn.
She was trying to be nice. And frankly, after seeing your pathetic soylent green microwave meal that was the polite thing to do.
Good manners require you fake a plate of something. I use help an elderly woman behind me when she needed repairs to her house. I was content with a heartfelt thank you but nooooooo, she had to cook something. If it was cookies I’d take one and make yummy sounds. If not I’d remember to thank her days latter.
So not only should you have eaten some of it you should have thanked everybody for their efforts.
He DID partake in the social ritual and show good manners by eating some cookies from the potluck earlier and pointing out to this woman that he did. (the fact that he didn’t actually do so isn’t relevant) He wasn’t rude. She was.
A good solution: Last week, the accounting department threw a Thanksgiving potluck and invited everybody else to come eat. It was a really nice treat for the rest of us. There was plenty of food, but there wasn’t that ridiculous overabundance and waste that happens with a typical potluck where everybody brings a big dish of this or that. Thanks, accounting department!
Is she succeeding at being nice when she continues after I politely refused two times?
Of course I can’t see any reason to think she did anything wrong or rude by simply inviting me to partake of their food. If you thought I’d said otherwise, you should reread the OP.
Mental note: It turns out I literally never agree with Magiver about anything at all. Interesting.
The old lady you mentioned is plausibly in a position of social vulnerability making it an act of decency to let her save face as you do. The lady in my scenario is in no such position.
BTW you know when we take your taxes and force you to buy health insurance we’re just trying to be nice, right? You should give us your money and buy that insurance and thank us for our efforts in putting all those systems in place and letting you use them.
I should point out that I was not a member of the group of people who were intended to be the recipients of any of this food. The best manners on my part wouldn’t have been to “steal” the cookies but simply not to be in the room at all. That’s my fault, but it was an honest mistake–I thought I’d waited long enough for them all to be gone. Then once I walked in it was too late to simply turn around and walk out, that would have been embarrassing for everyone.
Probably not, as most people don’t get so emotionally invested in these things. The few that noticed would be unlikely to care.
Perhaps, but someone repeatedly dismissing what you have to say and ordering you to do something you don’t care to do can rank pretty high.
Love this answer. Will have to remember this.
Exactly.
It is probably a situation that I would have forgotten about 2 minutes after it happened. The fact that you dwell on it and are threatening to “rage-quit” means its not them, its you. Someone was overbearing while trying to do something for you. Get over it.
A couple of people in the thread really seem to have taken that final comment out of context. Let me repeat it with some emphasis to highlight a couple of things:
As someone else mentioned, it’s usually considered rude to accept these sorts of things at first, so people feel a social obligation to keep asking over and over again. She went overboard though.
I get it. You are pissed off at the world (or just work) and are overreacting. Kind of my point. There may be important things that you have legitimate reasons to be pissed off at. This is not one of them. This is something that should have been forgotten 30 seconds after. If you are really pissed of about this and not just bored and trying to find something to write about, you seriously have to lighten up.
And if you really don’t want to eat what is offered at work just say you are allergic and it will kill you if you eat it. “Do you want me to die Judy? Do you?!”
That’s what makes me unsure you “get it”. It’s not “kind of your point,” it’s “kind of my point.”
You’re repeating back to me, in paraphrase, what I myself said, but acting like the thought hadn’t occurred to me. Not only did the thought occur to me, I explicitly owned it in the post.
…and was checking to see if the traffic was light on Control Freak St.
So you get that you are overreacting. Good. Since its the next day I hope you are not still dwelling on it. I’m sure there are new things to get pissed off about today.
Strange to “hope” for things you have no reason to think won’t happen.
Indeed.
I’d be annoyed too.
A few weeks ago, we had a bunch of meetings. Management decided they should hold one over lunch so they can treat us to a free lunch. I told them not to order anything for me, that it was easier for me to just bring something that I know I’ll like. I’m a picky eater, both out of preference and diet. Management wouldn’t rest until I stopped the productive work I was trying to do, walked over to the admin’s desk, read through the menu, and then said that I’d still rather bring my own food. At one point, I did mention to them something along the lines of “You realize that I’ve already resolved this, and there is no problem to deal with, except that you don’t believe me?”
I wish people understood that just because they enjoy something, it doesn’t mean that I do.
I wish my life was troubled with people offering me food. If this kind of social interaction is adding to rage-quit then the op should be forewarned that it will also lead to being ostracized by others. People will recognize your facial expression and mannerisms of disdain.
Usually, making a pushy person like that go away is a feature, not a bug. I’m not sure why you’re waving ostracization around as something vaguely threatening. Why should I or anyone else care that someone I don’t like much doesn’t like me either?
Office politics be damned every so often. Everyone gets a bad day sometimes.