I won’t say I wish it, but I can’t relate either. I’m amazed how many Dopers seem to have people trying to force unwanted things on them all the time. I don’t know if I’m just incredibly fortunate, but in my world nobody does that shit. If someone offered me food at work and I said “no thanks,” that would be the end of it.
The op is not describing a bad day using terms like “rage-quit”. The description is a bad career. Burning bridges over offers of food is certainly an option but it’s one with fewer bridges at the end of the day.
If it happened to me I wouldn’t remember it as stated by the op. I’m sure someone has done something like this to me from time to time but I would not have seen it as a minus but as a plus. Somebody cares enough about me to invite me to eat at a gathering I didn’t participate in and was overly insistent I got some of the food. The horror. Well I’m just going to quit my job so I can eat my favorite turnips under a bridge in peace.
This is why introverts generally try to avoid people. I know, because I’m one of them.
An socially graceful person might have said, “You know, I really appreciate what you’re doing, but the work thing has been kind of stressful lately, and years ago I spent a some time in Japan, and even though this doesn’t look like much, I was looking forward to eating it, because it reminds me of that time, and I was looking forward to remembering it.”
Me too but I’m going to keep it bottled up until Festivus.
I’m an introvert. But I chose to pick professions where that isn’t possible. So I adapted.
I’m introverted to the max, but I think this is an overly dramatic thing to say. It’s the kind of thing that people would say in an mocking imitation of an introvert.
A socially graceful person would say, “No, really. I’m fine. But I will make a plate if I get hungry later on. Thanks!” And then they’d walk away before they can be bothered anymore.
Not only is a pushy person not entitled to an explanation like this, it gives a silly conversation more gravitas than is warranted.
This would be a good approach. I’d call it an internet teaching moment.
I guess it’s natural that people that have trouble with in-person social interaction would gravitate to this type of forum. Probably their social anxiety causes others to treat them differently and think they need extra urging to take a plate of food.
“Mr. Awkward is probably too shy to help himself to some food or thinks he should skip it because he didn’t bring anything. I’d better reiterate that he’s welcome to food because otherwise he will just sit there eating that crap and this good food will go to waste” is the likely thought process. Oh, the horror.
It’s warranted if this is how a person interacts with others and is threatening “rage-quit”. It doesn’t serve a person to burn bridges over offers of food.
Ragequitting may or may not have been literal. You’re interpreting it as much more literal quitting than I am - who knows which Frylock meant now?
Also, if someone gets sour grapes over me getting repeatedly less polite over a mundane offer of food, to the point of it completely “burning a bridge” in their eyes…well I’m not sure I’m the one that’s over-reacting.
If I heard someone launch into a soliloquy like LinusK’s, I’d be more annoyed with them than the pushy coworker. I’d be like, “Dude, are you seriously about to cry over some fucking noodles? Get the fuck over yourself!!”
I understand your point of view but think matches and not torches. I’ve watched people alienate every single person in a work environment until the people around them actively move to get them relocated. There are all kinds of things I don’t like at work and a lot of them are small but planting a flag is always the worst thing to do.
At least she didn’t ask you to dance.
mmm
The wording of the OP is sufficient to falsify what you just said. I’ll leave it to you to re-read if you wish.
Upon seeing your replies to your thread, I’d have to say, yup, your thread title is entirely apt. Mr. Awkward, indeed.
Plenty of people have given meaningful suggestions on how to avoid being a social retard in the future but you seem to be zeroing in on one particular point.
I don’t think it’s skin off anyone’s back here; you’re the one dealing with unnecessary discomfort.
I asked whether she was rude for insisting or I was rude for refusing. Plenty of people answered that question. I replied to some of them. Other people answered other questions that I didn’t ask. I replied to them in various ways, if at all, generally with a view towards returning discussion to the questions that I asked.
Basically, I am not sure what you are talking about, with your language of “zeroing in on one point.” So far as I know, I have replied to people on several issues, not on any particular single point. In each case my intention was to focus on what seemed most relevant and informative for that poster’s purpose.
If you are interested in elaborating on your argument, I’m interested in discussing it.
I just re-read the thread. Grapefruit, I am certain that if you read it carefully, you will see that the impression you formed isn’t based in facts.* Again: If you’re interested in doing that, and then elaborating on your argument, I am happy to go as far as you’re willing in discussing whether your impressions are responsive to the facts or not.
*Another possibility is that you’ve failed to describe your impression adequately, which I’m also happy to discuss.
Way too much drama. Don’t JADE.
At the repeated invitation, you should have just graciously said “thank you, that’s very kind” then proceeded to fix your meal and do your thing. I seriously doubt she was going to police your lunch.
As far as crashing the party, if it was in the break room, you had little choice.
Isn’t that what she did, though, as I described it?
Well it was a bit wordy and I don’t think he/she would have gone to such an extent but the idea behind it was valid. If I truly couldn’t get through the day without eating my beloved fill-in-the-blank I would be gracious about it. “Thanks but I’ve been drooling over my lunch all morning, I appreciate the offer. You want to try some? It will be ready in 2 minutes.”
This is a common technique to steer a conversation by making a declarative statement of intent with a gracious ending.