Let’s say you met someone and went on three or so dates. You two are really hitting it off, and while you aren’t ready for marriage just yet, you definitely can see this person being part of your future.
Suddenly, it dawns on you that you never asked their last name. When you do, they slightly reluctantly respond, “It’s Hitler. And yes, before you ask, it’s that Hitler.”
They go on to explain that despite the obvious negative affiliations, they feel that a sense of pride in the other ancestors, and for that reason have decided not to change their surname - if only to make an effort, albeit futile, to reclaim and redefine the affiliations people have when they hear the surname.
They are understandably ashamed and in no way condone Adolf’s actions, but the consensus among the family members is that they don’t feel they should change their name. This is a strong belief held by all of the relatives.
At the end of this date, the person says that they’ve had people lose interest after the reveal of the surname, so if you don’t want to see them again, they understand, despite the obvious connection felt between the two of you.
I’ve talked before about how screwed up my family is. Sometimes people ask me if I’ve thought about changing my name. The answer is that I have thought about it, but the thought process always ends up at “It’s MY name. They’re the ones who need to change.”
I suspect that I’d feel the same way even if the name had public notoriety, like Hitler’s.
Going back to the OP. I’m male, so the cultural expectation would be that she’d change her name if we got married. I’m not entirely opposed to women who don’t want to take the husband’s name, but I think that attitude might mean we have some deeper conflicts in our values. I would absolutely not be raising any hyphenated Dracoi-Hitler children. That would be a deal breaker, for the kids’ sake if not for mine.
As someone descended from a family whose name (in a far smaller and far, far earlier place) was essentially synonymous with terrifying evil, I wouldn’t have a problem with it- but while she can keep it even if we do get married, we’re not sticking it on the kids.
Truth be told, I’d object more to her using “reveal” as a noun.
My wife went to college with one of Goering’s grand-nephews. Hell of a nice guy. He was happier if folks didn’t dwell on his family tree. But he wasn’t a jerk about it.
As to the OP: Half of Europe and white North America is descended from Charlemagne. Who was pretty much a conquering bastard too. Nobody seems too worked up about it now. It might be a few years too soon to declare the name “Hitler” or the moustache to be fully disinfected, but I have no doubt that day will come eventually too.
There’s some ambiguity here about the OP’s scenario.
Are you envisioning (a) a male person dating a female person named Hitler? Or (b) a female person dating a male person named Hitler? The responses mostly seem to be assuming case (b).
OP is titled “Mr. & Mrs. Hitler”, implying case (a). That is, a male named Hitler dating a female who might, if she eventually marries him, not want to be Mrs. Hitler. But at the end of the OP, we have:
which seems to imply a male dating a female named Hitler.
Other than that, note that the OP is written entirely using the gender-neutral plural pronouns “they” and “their”.