[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Lok *
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My house, noon. Bring your earplugs.
-L
God knows I can be a fucking Chatty Kathy at times, and I’m sure I’ve annoyed people who are just too kind to say anything to me. I get all excited about an idea or something funny that has happened, the company is good, the wine is flowing, and <boom!> I’m off…
But I think I’ve gotten much better at sensing when people are and aren’t in the mood to talk. And that is the key, I think. When it’s SO-choosing time, I should probably avoid the strong, silent type and go for a verbal loony like me. And frankly, at home, I’m mostly a quiet introvert - when I go seeking company, I’m a talker, but when I want to be left alone, I want to be left alone. In silence.
That said, my current roommate (the subletter, not the lovely and wonderful real roommate) will NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. And I’d like to rant for a moment:
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There is no talking in the morning. Period. Okay, a “have a nice day” or “would you drop this in the mailbox for me?” might be allowed. “Are you done in the shower?” is also acceptable. But between the hours of 7 and 8:00 a.m. are not the time to discuss your current boy troubles, my current boy troubles, our weekly schedule, the cat, current events, or ANYTHING ELSE.
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What is this with the constant “We should clean the house, when will you be available to clean the house, we should pick at time to clean the house” crap? First of all, with the exception of my messy room, the house is clean. Dust-free. You could eat off most surfaces. Here’s a hint: housecleaning is not necessarily a group activity that requires planning time. If something looks dirty to you, CLEAN IT AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! I’ll do the same. Incidentally, I noticed that you knocked over a plant the other night when you came in. You apologized profusely - um, “we should clean up the house”, why is the dirt still on the floor after 2 days? Clean it up!
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At night, when I’m on the computer, surfing, chatting, etc., do not stand over me and talk to me. Do not invade my personal space. Do not read my IM’s over my shoulder and say “who are you talking to?” and ask for their personal histories. Okay, yes, I’m an Internet Geek. It’s kind of weird, I know. But leave me in peace! To end this hijack and circle back to the OP, when you are talking to someone, they aren’t looking at you, and they answer everything you say with an absent “ok” or “uh-huh” it is a hint that you should stop talking. Just go do something else for a while. And please, for the love of god, stop talking. Please.
Oh, and Vince the Intangible? Welcome to the boards, you funny bastard.
I am a talker, big time. Over the years, I’ve been training myself to not talk non-stop around people (which drives them to drink), and I’m getting much better. Since I’m going into a counseling field, I know that listening is crucial, and I’m working on that skill.
What I found was that I was very uncomforable around silence, and needed to fill it, under any circumstances. I am much better now, and can genuinely appreciate the art of listening and being still.
A real eye opener for me was when I took a cross-country (12 hour) car trip with a girlfriend who is not a talker, and she told me ahead of time “You can’t be talking for 12 hours in the car or I’ll go nuts!” I brought a book and read, no problem. I’m really starting to cut down on my nervous talking, which is good.
The funny thing is, there is nothing I like better then to hang around with my two other talkie friends. We jabber like monkeys at each other for hours and never get tired. It’s like indulging in a big buffet of words 
Zette
Rastahomie, thank you for starting this thread.
I am married to a talker too. I can ask him a simple yes or no question, and he can go on for hours. I can’t take it anymore.
A sample, if you will:
Me: Did you do the laundry today?
Him: No, because my back was really hurting today, and I wasn’t sure what you wanted me to wash. I was gonna do it after me and Ed came back from the mall. We went there because that movie you like is on DVD, and I was gonna buy it for you. Hey, know what else I saw? That movie I was looking for! I had to buy it. Ed was telling me about this thing he read online…blah blah blah
Now, I’ll usually pick a fight by saying something like: “So what you’re telling me is that I have no clean clothes, and you hung around the mall with your friend all day,” but that’s a whole 'nother thread. 
I cannot take the nonstop talking. I cannot stand the ‘stream of consciousness’ monologues that go on and on. Sometimes he doesn’t even know if what he’s saying is true. I have ask him if he knows what he’s saying is true, or does he think what he’s saying is true.
Sometimes he says downright ridiculous things. One time, I heard him telling people that we have to leave the Cartoon Network on for the dogs when we leave the house, because they like cartoons and won’t chew stuff while we’re away. I told him later on that saying stuff like that to people will make them think you’re nuts, and since he was speaking for both of us, I’d look like a nut too. Man, was I sorry I said anything. I was treated to a long discussion of why he’s knows it’s true, if people think he’s nuts he doesn’t care, and why I shouldn’t always think I’m right.
I have learned not to ask any questions unless I feel like hearing a very long, rambling, and possibly untrue explanation. I have learned not to ‘think out loud.’ I have learned to ask him to get to the point, and, most importantly, I have learned how to say that without sounding like a wicked bitch.
I am so glad I am not alone in this, and that there are others in the same situation.
Rose
Me too. There are people who, when asked what time it is, will tell you how the watch is made. Then there’s my husband. You’ll learn not only how it’s made, but where he got it, how much it cost, and how he really needs another one because the one he’s got is pretty beat up, but he can’t seem to find one like the one he’s got, and he really really likes that one…
On the occasions when we’ve had to have serious discussions about stuff, this trait can be really, really aggravating. When he’ll start going on about stuff that has little or nothing to do with the serious issue at hand, lately I’ve taken to actually interrupting him (and I loathe interrupting and being interrupted), and saying something like “Please stay on topic.” That seems to work for me. YMMV.
My MIL is coming to stay for a month.
This is serious bad shit.
I talk a lot but at least I am interesting ;). She OTOH likes to talk about the haemorrhoids suffered by the people at her croquet club.
My SO talks out loud too. He’s doing it right at this moment. He is another one who cannot answer a question with a simple yes or no. Or if he does, that’s the one time I need more info…
Excuse me, while I go and scream
Sigh, my wife does that too. She will accuse me several times during her speeches of not listening to her, after which I will repeat the last few sentences she said back to her to assure her that I AM listening. That may have something to do with my not feeling the need to turn from what I am doing and watch someone talk to me if I can understand them perfectly. On the other hand, many times I will be talking to her and then realize that she hasn’t paid attention to a word I said. She had developed the ability to tune people out, probably because she has an extremely chatty 5 year old daughter, but it pisses me off when it goes on by default whenever she sees something interesting.
I have tried to explain to Mrs. Pinky that, when I am lying down and my eyes are closed, although I may not be technically sleeping yet, I most certainly am attempting to at the very least and, all things considered, am not in the mood for a conversation!
Sometimes I’m glad I’m going deaf. I’m surprised my ears don’t bleed.
That girl gotta get out more. I can’t be expected to carry the entire burden of her conversational needs… it would take a village - a village of the deaf - a village of the deaf with no hobbies.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by SexyWriter *
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See what happens when you sleep in. You miss the best opportunities. A chance to spend time with an attractive woman an learn about her and where was I? In bed. Alone! Can you ever forgive me? Please? 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Lok *
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Don’t worry, Lok. I’m still talking. Chances aren’t good that I’ll shut up anytime soon, so there’s still plenty of time for you to be subjected to it.
-L
I have the same problem (slightly in reverse that everyone’s talking about here. The problem with too much talking is that people are not communicating their true needs.
I talk to me SO just about every night on the phone. We have a long distance relationship and we only see each other every couple of months. I am a fairly good talker, and I spend our time on the phone each night talking about the minutia of my day. Many times I have felt as if he is not listening. How do I know? I stop talking mid-sentence and after 2 minutes of silence I say, “Would you like to do this another time when you’re not so pre-occupied?” Then we schedule a phone call for at least a week later. That way he’ll be ready to listen, expecting my call and I can entertain him with only the juiciest tidbits of the goings on in my life.
I cannot stand it when people pretend that they want to converse with you and get mad when you’re not around. Don’t say, “OK.” That’s conversation (shitty conversation). Say, “I really want to do this right now, can I talk to you in a half hour?” “I will do the thing you want me to do just as soon as I am finished here. Will you give me some time to finish this, please?” “I just don’t really feel like talking right after I get home from work. Can we talk after I have my bath and can listen to you?”
It takes effort to be really honest. You can do it!!!
Sue
My husband and I have worked this problem out this way:
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I am allowed to talk.
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He is allowed to ignore me.
It seems to work. If there is anything that I think it is realy important that he hear I will preface it with “listen to this” and for very big things have him repeat it back (he is a champion tuner-outer)
Wow, SueFriendly, you must feel pretty strongly about that! 
That’s all well and good, but have you gotten the Mardi Gras pictures developed? And if so, did you do it at the same time as the holiday shots? If you haven’t, I suggest doing them at Meijer…
::runs off to apply gauze to his beaten head::
Just to show I could win the Cessandra Trivia Challenge, I will also chime in here and note that I seem to recall a Carl that used to be in the picture. Which is my incredibly nosy way of also asking… er… what’s up?
Please feel free to ignore this post
- Rick
Interesting that there’s so many women on this thread complaing about their husbands/SO yakking too much. I thought I was the only one with a male talker. My God, can he talk! All the time! About anything! And even worse - he gets mad at me when he can tell I’m bored or not actively listening. We’ve had major fights because fifteen minutes into a conversation - no, conversation implies the discussion involves two people - let’s call it a speech. Anyways, fifteen minutes into a speech about the newest tools he bought for putting together model ships/doing astronomy/working on his motorcycle, if I for one second give him the impression that I’m not intensely listening, I get yelled at. I swear to God, sometimes I think we’re going to break up over this.
Last time we fought, and were still a little sullen in the morning, I got to work and realized that I had just had the most peaceful, calming morning that I’d had in months. Why? Because I didn’t have to either yak or pretend I was interested about whatever political scandal caught his eye that morning.
<sigh> I don’t want to give the impression that Mr. Athena is a bad guy - he’s not, he’s really very wonderful. But sometimes I wish he came with “mute” button.
I can relate.
Mine is the how to build a watch type.
Me: Where do you want to eat ?
Her: I don’t know. sue was telling me about that new place but I don’t want that, I was talking to her on the phone today and did you know she got a new car last week. She is going to take a vacation to …17 min…We could get mexican food but we had that on wednesday. Oh next wednesday don’t forget we need to …11 min. …
Me: interupting Where do you want to eat ?
Her: I dont know what do you want ?
Me: Carabbas.
Her No !!! blah…blah…6 min.
This goes on untill we starve to death and die.
Well that is a relief. I would hate to miss such a joyful experience.
I swear, I’m the only member of my family that isn’t like this. The worst thing is, they will have two minutes of stuff to say, and repeat it for 45 minutes. Several years ago, I was visiting my mother in the hospital, and my dad and younger sister were there as well. Conversation went about like this:
Sister: Oh, you know who I saw the other day? So-n-so. I just can’t believe how much he’s grown up!
Dad: Oh, yeah, I mean, he used to be just a little lump that didn’t want to do anything but lay around watching tv, but he’s grown up a lot lately.
Mom: Well, I remember when he came out with <So-n-so’s sister> to do yard work, and I just couldn’t believe how hard he worked! And he just used to be such a lazy thing.
S: Yeah, and he just got out there and hustled and got all kinds of stuff done!
D: Yeah, and he used to be such a lazy kid, but he’s really shaped up lately. He really gets out there and works, now.
M: Oh, I know! He just used to sit around in front of that tv, and they couldn’t get him to do anything, and now <So-n-so’s mother> says he just helps around the house and does all kinds of stuff.
S: Oh, he does! That day he and <sister> came out to the farm, I just couldn’t believe how hard he worked! He just did so much stuff, and he never used to be like that.
D: Yeah, he used to be the laziest kid, but now he just gets out there and works! He’s really starting to amount to something.
M: Oh, and do you remember how he used to not want to do anything but watch tv? I remember his mother complaining that they couldn’t get him to do anything around the house.
S: I know! But now he just gets out there and works really hard. He raked up all the leaves, and was helping with the horses and everything!
D: Yeah, I used to tell them that he’s going to have to get in gear one of these days, or he’ll never amount to anything. He really gets out there and hustles, now.
M: Well, compared to how lazy he used to be, I’m just amazed when I see him, because he just gets out there and works; not at all like he used to be…
Dijon’s head is exploding. Half an hour of this, with me trapped in the corner of the room and unable to get to the door. Not even a chance to get a word in edgewise to make a semi-polite exit. :rolleyes: Thing is, the conversation probably continued in this vein for an hour or two after I finally pushed my way out.
Don’t EVER ask my brother about his car.