MST3K: Jack Frost

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Saturday’s MST3K movie was “Jack Frost”. Two comments I particularly enjoyed were:

“Jack Frost the movie that answers the question, will Ivan catch the mushroom elf!” in reference to the hide and seek game with the little mushroom elf.

“Gee thanks, it barely works.” in reference to Ivan’s new magic bow that he got from the little dwarf.

“My destiny sucks. It’s a swamp.” in reference to Ivan following the feather to the swamp. I feel off the couch on this line. My wife thought I was going to die laughing. She also is utterly convinced I am a fool since I have been chuckling all weekend about it.

So, any favorite commentaries from “Jack Frost” or any other MST3K movie?

What more could you expect from somebody who lets people kick him to the head?

2

Jack Frost is one of my personal favorite MST3K productions.

One of my favorite scenes: Where the girl (Nastia-sp?) is coming up out of the lake, after having pulled her ugly, ignorant stepsister out of the water. Nastia is, of course, beautiful. Crow says “My God, she makes Olivia Hussey look like Thelma Ritter!”

3

Late in the movie, where Nastia’s in Jack Frost’s house, and he’s got that scythe or whatever, where you touch it and get frozen forever, sitting out in the middle of the room, and Servo says that he should keep a blanket over it or something.

Uke

4

My husband refuses to watch Jack Frost- he thinks it’s awful, even for MST3K…what does he know? I haven’t seen it recently enough to comment, so maybe I’ll re-watch a tape of it today…

I do have other favorites, though. How about “Parts- The Clonus Horror”. The whole movie is a riot. I also love “The Giant Spider Invasion”, especially when the trashy couple is fighting and Crow is singing “Love…soft as an easy chair…”.
I do this whenever I see a couple bickering…hilarious!

I’m very lucky. The only time I was ever up shit creek, I just happened to have a paddle with me.
–George Carlin

5

“The Giant Spider Invasion” is a great episode. Some of my favorite jokes:

Establishing shot of the sherriff’s office. “I shot the sherriff’s office, but I did not shoot the deputy’s office!” ( To the tune of “I Shot the Sherriff.” As if you didn’t know. )

Mob of people running away from the spider. ( yelling ) “The Packers won the Super Bowl! Yeaaaaaah!”

The spider bites the sherriff. ( Again, to the tune of “I Shot the Sherriff.” ) “I injected paralyzing neurotoxin into the sherriff, but I did not inject paralyzing neurotoxin into the deputy!”

My memory is holding out on me again. Anyone remember other MST3K jokes?

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From #1007 - Track of the Moon Beast":

Scene: A man takes a set of bows and arrows out a car.

Crow: “I swiped these from that Indian while he was crying about the garbage.”

Had to re-watch the following scene twice because I was laughing so hard.

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Does anyone have Jack Frost on tape? It;s one of my faves and I always miss taping it

Just add water, it makes it’s own sauce!

8

Burn,
I’ll check- I know I taped it at one time, but it wasn’t one of my favorites and I may have gasp taped over it.

I’m very lucky. The only time I was ever up shit creek, I just happened to have a paddle with me.
–George Carlin

9

From “Mitchell” starring Joe Don Baker:
Linda Evans pulls up to Mitchell’s car parked roadside and writes the word “JERK” on the windshield in lipstick. Crow (in bitchy voice): “Word on the street is, you’re a jerk!”

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“Skydivers”:

Crow: Someone with attention-deficit disorder edited this movie!
“The Brute Man”:

Errand boy: That’ll be $1.25
(Creeper hands him something)

Crow: Here’s a toenail.
“Industrial Arts Short Film”:

Student: I like the smell of sawdust…

Servo: …and I put them in my underwear!
Student: …and because I’m a craftsman…

Mike: …and not a killer!

Tim
“My hovercraft is full of eels.”

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My fave is still “Mr. B. Natural”. Everytime I see that one, I nearly die laughing. Tom Servo commenting on somebody turning a tuba bell on a lathe – “The faces of those he’s wronged float up at him!”

Only thing that comes close is the Jet Jaguar Fight Song. :slight_smile:

“How about never? Does never work for you?”

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I laughed out loud just reading these excerpts…

An MST3K moment that cracked me up was the brief film “Troops”, widely distributed prior to Episode One. This was a short parody of “Cops”, but with Imperial Stormtroopers acting out traffic stops and domestic disturbance calls by using Star Wars footage.

The best was when the stormtrooper is investigating a couple of Jawas for stealing a droid, and one of the Jawas is trying to hide the droid in his robe… and it’s Tom Servo !

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I have two or three that come to mind, but alas, I can’t remember which episodes they come from. In one (Kathy Ireland plays a chick named Carol) they’re looking for her father, who’s supposedly inside this cave somewhere. So they’re wandering through the cave, and she’s calling out, “Dad! Dad!” Crow says, “Oh, I see…it’s Carol’s Dad’s Caverns!”

In another one, our heroes are hiding from the bad guys in a hospital storeroom with the lights off…the tension builds, a door opens, a light flicks on; and a nurse is standing in the doorway. Crow yells, “My God! It’s Nurse Feratu!!!”

In yet another, a kid in Syria or somewhere comes down off a volcano with a chunk of broken clay tablet in his hand.
Archaeologist: Where did you find this?
Kid: Up on the mountain! High!
Servo, Crow, and Mike: Hi!
Kid: High!
Servo, Crow, and Mike: Hi! Friendly kid!

In that same episode, there’s a shot of the volcano erupting, and Servo says, “The magma flow of savings—only at Menard’s!”, or something similar. I just about died. I have to admit, the older shows with Joel were a lot funnier, but Mike looks exactly like a guy who married a friend of mine from college…they could be twins, in fact; and so just looking at him cracks me up. (This guy I’m taking about is a hoot, too.)

Um, I hesistate to mention this, but does anybody else out there besides me sort of find Pearl…well, arousing, in an odd sort of way??? Just curious…

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PM, they used that one again–when the title of “The Giant Spider Invasion” appears on the screen, Mike says, “It’s a giant spider invasion of savings at Menard’s!” They must love all the free advertising up there.

I also almost died in “Time Chasers” when the “hero” pulls up to a grocery store called “Martin’s” and Mike quips, “Welcome to Martin’s–Wassup?” To this day, I can double my wife over with laughter with that one.

“Jack Frost” had more than it’s share of good ones, though. Especially when Nastia’s tears are falling in the pond and making the little “ding” noises, and after each Crow says, “With Retsin!” Or, at the beginning, “Hello, this is the sun. Your call is important to us, so please remain on the line . . .”

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P’s Model: Using the MST3K Amazing Colossal Episode Guide, I find that the movie with Kathy Ireland in it is “Alien from L.A.” I find your attraction to Pearl Forrester very disturbing. Not because of her physical appearance, mind you. It’s just, well. . . Ugh.

The ACEG is jogging my memory, I’m remembering some more of my favorite jokes:

From “The Creeping Terror” ( One of my all-time faves: )
The title monster attacks some people in a parked car, climbing up on it from behind.
Crow: “Mike, what’s going on?”
Mike: "Well Crow, when a man-eating monster and a car love each other very much. . . "

From “Monster a Go-Go” (I think :slight_smile:
A man is shown walking in an empty field.
Joel: “Now there’s a man who’s outstanding in his field!”
[ Crow and Tom join the audience in a collective groan. ]

From “The Incredibly Strange Creatures:”
A woman preparing her apt. for a date. She brings out a tray with two glasses and a peculiarly shamed bottle, presumably a bottle of wine.
[ I forgot who said this: ] Mrs. Butterworth’s. For the times that mean so much to us."
Note: That quote might not be exactly right. But you get the idea. And if you see the bottle, it fits!

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Another from “Monster A Go-go”…During one of the million shots of the monster’s feet plodding slowly through the city, the background “music” is an eerie series of chords with beeps and bloops. Joel sings: “Ohhhhh, what a lucky maaaan, he was! Booooooo-eeeee, boo-eee, boo-eeeeeeee!”

I don’t remember which episode it was (the one that was specifically made as some sort of training film for the air force, I think) but a guy is trying to pick up some woman in a bar with what has to be the WORST pick-up line ever. Joel stands: “I’d like to apologise on behalf of the male gender for that.”

Then in the intro to “City Limits” there are nude women swimming in the watertower and Joel keeps going “anyone mind if I open my umbrella?” using the umbrella’s shadow to block out any nudity much to the chagrin of Servo and Crow. That was so clever I was cracking up, and his fake innocent voice – LOL!