[donald pleasance] POOMA-man [/donald pleasance]
“I now know that if I ever run into a puma, I can just push it the heck over”
AndrewL wasn’t he trying to extort money from the nations of the world by threatening to freeze the earth’s oceans.
“Joel this movie really isn’t very good is it”
Fu-Manchu
Real bad man with a plan that is Fuuuuu
he is the clown in the robe stands about seven foot twooooo
I remember an episode where the sheriff was killed and his wife had to seek revenge. The bad guy hopped the background and ran around the backlot to appear instantly in a place where he couldn’t possibly be.
They had this awesome skit between commercials about the laws of physics in cinema.
Favorite line & episode:
Hercules and The Moon Men. A guy in crappy plate armor enters. The breast plate is rectangular and made up of little square sections; its clearly made of cardboard covered in brown felt. The guy opens his mouth to say his line and Tom says:
“Hi, I’m a chocolate bar. Break off bits of me and enjoy me all day.”
I laughed until I cried.
–John
Rommell - that magnificent bastard!
That contains a line that still can make me laugh out loud just remembering it. The first time hearing it was downright painful. It occurs when the big moose-headed boat lights on fire and slides down the hill, and one of the bots trumpets, in full Bullwinkle the Moose impression, “Hey Rocky! I seem to be on fiiiire!” Just something in the delivery.
Randomly accessing another fond memory: the end of whicever film it was that involved dinosaurs on Planet Nova. It ends with the astronauts gazing with satisfaction at a mushroom cloud from a nuclear explosion they set off to…kill some dinosaurs, I think. Lead Astronaut pronounces proudly, “At last, we’ve brought civilization to Planet Nova.”
And of course, the entire five-minute long speech from another forgotten title, that starts, “He learned almost too late that Man is a feeling creature, and because of it, the greatest in the universe…” and rambles on and on and ON from that point. I once snuck a wav of it as a friend’s Windows startup sound. (Yes, we’re still friends despite that act.)
Come, everyone! Put on your poopie suits and join me in singing the praises of pants!
Well, not really, but for your amusement, I now present my favorite MST3k song:
Mike: The United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus, under the direction of United Servo Academy Men’s Choral director, Vice Brigadier Sir Thomas “Bullhead” Servo, conducting them in the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus uh Hymn
**Tom **(quietly, to choir): Alright, eyes front! Three and…
Chorus (singing):
Here’s to the guys and gals who like to fly
Flying so high with some guy in the sky
Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight!
Captain High at your service
Tom (singing solo):
Would you like to fly in my beautiful balloon?
Take these broken wings and learn to fly me to the moon!
Sail on silver bird
Have you ever heard that bird is the word?
Chorus:
In a big country, drreams stay with you
Come along with me Lucille in my merry Oldsmobile
We are kids for saving Earth
We are fans of Collin Firth
Off we go to yonder blue
We really move our tails for you!
Tom (solo with chorus providing harmony):
'Cross the wide Missouri!
Mike: Ahhh, fantastic! Absolutely fantastic! That was the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus. Ahh and that sonerous tone you heard, of course, has to be due in a large part to the fantastic conducting (Tom and chorus start singing again) What are you doing? What are you doing?!? Please stop that music! Please don’t continue with this, Vice Brigadier Thomas “Bullhead” I implore you. Stop the music! Stop I say! Sylvester, can we get an engineer in here, please? In Studio A. I appologize, ladies and gentlemen. Stop the music right now, I say! Out! Out! Rause!
Just the sound of Kevin Murphy overdubbed twice on four parts coming from that row of uniformed Servos...oh, god I laugh until my sides ache every time.The Creeping Terror: No dialogue at all in the movie. The whole thing was narrated! “Bob looked at the spaceship. He wondered where it came from. He turned to Ed and asked him if he’d ever seen anything like it before. Ed said no.” (Paraphrasing there, you get the idea.) Even better was the monster, who in one scene attacks a gymnasium. But the damn thing is so slow, the victims have to stand there for two or three minutes, screaming, while the “terror” slllloooooowwwwwllly creeps across the floor. When it gets there, you can see his prey hoisting themselves into it’s mouth so they can be eaten.
IIRC, the narrator from the movie hits on Magic Voice before one of the commercial breaks.
A few of my favorites:
Rocketship X-M: THere is a scene where they are trying to figure out how to land the ship on Earth without enough fuel, while in the process of approching Earth, and doing the calculations by hand. One of the characters is taking too long so the other character says his answer is close enough. At this point one of the 'bots says “Yeah, it ain’t like this is rocket science or anything!”
It Conquered the World: Right after the short ended I was still laughing at “Cat Snapping” when they came back to the movie. They led in on a scene of a car driving, with the standard cheesy bell-ridden music. At this point Crow yells “You’re dragging a xylophone!” I started laughing so hard I couldn’t stay in my chair. I attempted to explain why this was so funny to the other people in the room, but all I could do was make weak hand motions. I fell on the floor, smacked my head on the coffee table leg, and still couldn’t stop laughing. Ten minutes later, I was still doubled over. After fifteen minutes one of the guys had to leave because my laughing had made him laugh so hard he got a headache. They had to stop the tape because I was laughing so hard they couldn’t hear it. Me, I thought I was going to die, but that didn’t stop me. I finally was able to stop, but the rest of the movie was something of an anticlimax for me. I still don’t know why that was so funny.
Mitchell!: When Linda Evans’ character drives up and writes “JERK” in lipstick on Mitchell’s parked car winshield, and Servo says “Hey Mitchell, word on the street is you’re a jerk.”
Manos Hands of Fate: At the end where they are trying to find a movie they’ve seen that was worse that MHOF. Joel and Crow keep naming movies off and Servo just keeps saying “worse, worse” until they get to The Castle of Fu Manchu, at which point Servo says, “Okay, but it was JUST AS BAD as the Castle of Fu Manchu!”
I’m sure there were other, but my brain is keeping them from me.
No, no, no! Pleasance pronounced it as “Pew-ma Man!” 
First MST3K I saw was “Hobgoblins.” I laughed myself sick.
“In the future, can we have a law that films have to be made by filmmakers?”
And that bit during the credits where Crow pretended to be the director…
“Yes, yes, once again your insight proves quite correct. I was sitting at home one night, shortly before the filming of Hobgoblins, when I received an unsolicited call requesting I try their service, wherein they replace my brains with rat droppings. It was a good deal, so I said yes.”
In The Giant Gila Monster when the lead his singing his “And the Lord said Laugh, Children, Laugh” song:
GUY: And the Lord said laugh, children, laugh,
the Lord said laugh, children, laugh,
the Lord said laugh, children, laugh…
SERVO: But did the Lord say it this many times?
CROW: Yeah, that’s why Deuteronomy’s so long.
A few snippets from the last few seasons:
Mike: I heard it’s supposed to get down to absolute zero tonight!
Pearl: Yeah, that’s why I always wear a sweater.
Crow: And believe me, Death does NOT pony up for gas.
“Mom? My nuts?” (from “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank”)
Crow’s documentary about the Civil War
“Look, the countdown simulator on the COM… PU… TER!”
Rowsdauer…
“Starring Big… McLargehuge!”
there are so many I cannot list them all. I have three from season one then all of the rest. I also have a few of the movies un-mistied, like Manos, Wild Wild World of Batwoman, Racket Girls, Beast of Yucca Flats.
Some of my favorites are Final Sacrifice, where a hooded man is outside the kids window, and one of the bots says “can I discipline you?”
Manos, after shooting the snake “he tampered in Gods domain”
Monster a Go-go with the person making a phone ringing sound.
All of the Godzilla, Gamera, Ed Wood movies they covered.
Some of the best were the shorts: Mr. B-Natural, Home Economics, etc.
Remember this ditty:
Song: ODE TO ESTELLE
Episode: 411- The Magic Sword
Crow: Fellas, I got something to say and there’s only one way to do it. So, give me center stage.
Joel: Hey, be my guest. It’s all yours. (music begins )
Crow (singing): As you guys I’m sure remember. I think it was last December. I fell, pall mall, for Kim Cattrall.
Tom (spoken: Yeah, we remember, please don’t remind us. Wooo!
Crow: But now, I’m over that.
Tom: Well, that’s good.
Crow: We had our little spat.
Tom: In your dreams, buddy.
Crow: I’m older, wiser and I know that my true love is really named (spoken) Estelle!
Tom: Winwood?!
Crow: She’s swell! (singing)
She’s cute
She’s rooty-toot-toot.
I bet she smells like Juicyfruit.
She can really play a witch
Tom: Ridiculous!
Crow: She was even on Bewitched and I’m bewildered and bothered!
Joel: Oh, but Crow, hold on a second, hold on a second.
Tom: Thank you.
Joel (singing):
Crow, you are my buddy,
And maybe I’m a fuddy duddy
But step back please, and think about some stuff.
Crow (spoken): Like what?
Joel: I’m sure that she seems nice.
Crow: Oh yes!
Joel: But I bet she’s more than twice your age.
Crow: Well–
Joel: And with your love it might not matter–
Tom (singing): But can she control her bladder?
Crow: Shut up!
Joel (spoken): Tom, come on.
Tom (spoken): Ok, but Joel, there’s a whole other set of issues here. If I may, Crow, as a friend? As a trusted advisor?
Crow: Well…
Tom: Ok (singing) Here’s a quick list of people much better looking than Estelle
Crow: You’re so shallow.
Tom: Fred Biletnikoff, Brandon Tartikoff, Sid and Marty Kroft.
Crow: Very funny.
Tom: Fred Gwynne and Anthony Quinn and Rin Tin Tin and Pearl Bailey and Moms Mabley and Mayor Daley and Hank and Phoebe Snow.
Crow: I’m not list’ning!
Tom: Ethel Merman and Pee Wee Herman and Strom Thurmond and Vince Lombardi (unintelligible) and George and Jesus Jones.
Edith Head and Mister Ed and Nostradamus and Danny Thomas and Leona and Sherman Hemsley!
Crow: Joel, make him stop.
Joel: Tom, you’re not helping things at all. Can you go and cut those coupons like you promised?
Tom: Duhhh, Okay. (Leaves singing) Willy DeVille and Agnes DeMille and Cruella DeVille and Roscoe Tanner and…(exits)
Joel: Crow, listen. Don’t worry about him. Why don’t you tell us more about how you’re feeling?
Crow (singing again):
She’s a vision
I got a new mission.
Somehow I got to meet her.
So she’s older (2-3-4)
She’s got a great motor,
There’s nothing that can beat her.
(Crow and Joel duet)
She’s cute. She’s rooty-toot-toot Joel: Crow, you have my blessing.
I bet she smells like Juicyfruit Joel: And I feel, like confessing.
She can really play a witch Joel: You’re my little pal.
She was even on Bewitched! Joel: Go on and give it a try.
'Cause I’m bewildered and Joel: 'Cause you’re bewildered and
Both: bothered
Joel (doing Chuck Barris): We’ll be back with more STUFF on MST3K! (Cut)
BTW, I have every episode (including the 18 KTMA). Let’s talk.
Katisha you’re right [hangs head in shame]
[sub]misquoting my favorite episode. bah, humbug![/sub]
My all time favorite mst3k quote is from ** Magic Sword **
“They’re not dead, they’re just ‘metaphysically challenged’.”
For some odd reason i’ve always had a strange liking for the rarely mentioned episode
[squeak]** Deathstalker and the Warriors from hell ** [squeak]
“Hey somebody TeePeed your ghost.”
Crow, setting up his modem to get on the Information Super-highway!
I can’t remember…did they do Plan 9 from Outer Space?
I know they did one of my all time favorites, This Island Earth
“…then I’ll ram my ovipositer down your throat! But I’m not an alien.”
They didn’t do {i] Plan 9…* saying it was waaaayyyy too easy.
Another favorite quote from MST3K:The Movie (right after yours):
Tom: “Don’t leave me with the Germans!!”
First one I saw was Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. Awesome, but I think my all-time favorite is The Giant Spider Invasion.
when the white trash lady is drinking:
“The doctor should have been more specific when he said to drink plently of fluids.”
also:
“Booze. It’s what’s for dinner.”
Or when Alan Hale is on the phone:
“What’s that? Repeat what you say for exposition?”
Or:
“I hate it when a movie kills off a beloved character. <pause> This is great, though.”
Riding With Death was another of my favorites.
“It’s a secret government project, but he’s still got time to stop for some flapjacks.”
And when his breaks are cut–
“No one’s ever made that faster than 35, what’s your speed?”
Crow: “About 140, is that a problem?”
And when the truck finally does explode:
“Take out a whole city? Well, maybe it would singe the side of a B&B.”
“Under the cover of afternoon, they escape in the biggest car in the county.”
I saw several of the Comedy Central episodes, but didn’t watch regularly until it was on Sci-Fi. Riding With Death was very good, but my very favorite was Space Odyssey, particularly the part where Calgon and Big McLargehuge are chasing each other in what are obviously a couple of rideable floor waxers. One of the bots starts singing the circus song. Also “Captain Santa” and “He is sooooo gonna have sex with your daughter.”
–Cliffy
A haiku by Tom Servo:
Clowns are raining down.
Hear the scream of the greasepaint!
Danger! Clown puddles.