For your Friday enjoyment - some of these are really good:
This is my favorite one… So dramatic, yet so true…
O! Squirrel brother,
Your tail, my hair. We are one.
Yet I must eat you.
Oh. My. God. 
Brown edged tank top sticks
to my white clumpy armpits
Somehow I get laid.
Metallica is
for first graders. Nothing rocks
harder than Winger
I got these in an email.
“Cat Haiku”
You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.
The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.
Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.
Blur of motion, then –
Silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?
You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.
My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
Can just hide my head.
Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a ‘term paper?’
I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?
Wanna go outside.
Oh, crap! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!
Oh no! The Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!
Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams.
My claws are not that sharp.
Cats meow out of angst
“Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!”
We’re almost equals
I purr to show I love you.
Want to smell my butt?
The cat is not all
Bad - she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls.
The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for “Cup Hockey.”
“Dog Haiku”
I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be
Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - comes to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
My owners’ mood is
Romantic - I lie near their feet.
I blow a big one.
Oh… not a Haiku… but a Limerick!
Bwaha ahahhaaaa…
The Mullet
His hair was fluffy, occasionally spiny.
He was dirty, and oh, he was grimy.
What in the back, laid intact,
Was the teased rat, in fact,
Of the world’s biggest mullet.
This was composed off of the top of my head at a ‘Poetry On Demand’ booth that was the fundraiser for my college’s literary magazine. I was, and still am, rather proud of it. Too bad we only got 50 cents for the commission of it.
Such is life. You never know what to expect when inspiration strikes.
~Mag
Mullet Haiku (in a minute or less)
All business up front
Total party in the back
Dude, my mullet rules!